White Silk like Snowflakes
by Oceanbreeze7
Summary: Tony knows that something is wrong with Loki. He absolutely knows it- so obviously he has to capture a Norse god. Of course, trapping a Trickster is going to be tricky. Good thing he enlists the help of a Teenager with freaky spider webs, and a Neurosurgeon who messes with magic every Tuesday. It's not like Loki's mind controlled or insane or- what's this about a Stone?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:**

 **At every battle, they can see a flash of green from the corner of their eyes, and a hint of crushed pine needles and Juniper.**  
 **One once do they ever see Loki- Clint pierces him with two arrows and watches the blood fall.**  
 **Tony thinks something is terribly terribly wrong, because the eyes of Loki are so similar to his own during the Palladium.**  
 **Tony has to know what is going on.**  
 **Too bad Trapping a Trickster, is amazingly tricky.**

 **(Good thing he enlists the help of a Teenager with freaky spider webs, and a Neurosurgeon who messes with magic every Tuesday.)**

 **Viewing the Doctor Strange movie is not necessary for this fic**

 **Doctor Strange will be brought in the second and maybe third chapter.**

 **I saw the prompt somewhere, where everyone thinks that Loki is lying so they ignore his warnings of a great threat, except Tony, who was similarly dismissed years earlier.**

 **Kudos to my first Avenger fic in quite a while.**

* * *

They had all been seeing suspicious flashes of green in the corner of their vision.

The smell of Juniper and crushed pine needles always resonated seconds after the flash of deep emerald. On more than one occasion, Thor had spun in surprise, hoisting Mjolnir in preparation to strike what was (and always had been) thin air.

It had been months, eventually the flashes of green were accompanied with the sound of leather and the slight glimmer of something shimmering.

They encountered robots already out of commission- holes punctured through the metal with all evidence of something sharp. Tony couldn't find a single weapon that could match the destruction.

It was only during a mission gone wrong- which they should have expected; they had gotten too comfortable with the failed attempts and almost embarrassing crooks they caught more because of boredom than a sense of moral obligation.

It was Clint that caught it- his nearly superhuman vision spotted the green flash and focused on it faster than anyone else could.

The archer fumbled, his body chilling sharply as a feral snarl ripped from his throat.

 _"Clint?"_ Steve asked, pausing worried as he heard the sound through the team's communication unit.

Clint stared, unable to form words as the tall pale humanoid spun, something small and sharp slicing through the throats of the mutated creatures they had been fighting. A single touch caused another to stiffen, then fall apart with loud cracks into large pieces.

 _"Hawkeye, report!"_

"It's _him,"_ Clint hissed, drawing back his bowstring to press against his cheek, "It's _Loki."_

The unit was silence as everyone else registered his words.

In the silence, Clint exhaled slowly and let the arrow fly.

He wasn't sure why, but a large part of him had expected the Asgardian to catch the arrow like he had during the invasion. Instead, he was throwing knives against the mutated wolf creatures, kicking and sending blasts of blue. Loki hadn't seen the arrow, and didn't stop it as it sunk deep into the junction of his neck and shoulder.

Clint wasn't sure of Asgardian anatomy, but he knew the arrow must have hurt.

 _"Hawkeye, do not engage. Iron Man is coming to you-"_

"A bit too late for that," Clint responded, pulling back another arrow and holding. Loki jolted with the impact, one hand rising to his neck where already dark red was perverting his green clothing.

Clint could tell the exact moment Loki realized who must have fired the shot; the god fought suddenly more viciously, desperately, against the swarm of the mutant creatures in an attempt to get free. Even one of those creatures were tough work for Iron Man, Clint could only imagine how difficult the pack was.

Clint let the arrow fly, and frowned when the carbon fiber shaft dug deep into his side just below his armpit.

Loki faltered, one of the mutated creatures sinking its teeth into Loki's leg.

The loud sound of Iron Man blasted up from between the crevice of the two buildings. The high whine of repulsors loaded and blasted towards Loki, knocking away the mutated creature.

Loki looked up, pale and wounded more than he had ever seen.

Iron man pointed a laser at the god, but didn't fire. He hovered, allowing the god to slowly fade.

Clint smelt the crisp smell of Juniper and crushed pine needles.

* * *

Tony frowned, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. The loud sounds of his music caused the spare nuts and screws on his work bench vibrate and roll onto the floor.

There was a bottle of something, half empty sitting on the floor. A tumbler was smashed, scattered chunks of glass from where he had thrown it hours ago.

His mind was hurting, and every time he almost fell asleep he kept seeing the exhausted dull _look_ Loki had given him, impaled and bleeding from more than one wound.

There was something about it which was painfully familiar. Something about how his eyes had formidable bags, or how his skin was erring on the side of being translucent. Tony could imagine much too vividly how the trickster's hands would shake.

Tony stood up suddenly, swiping one hand across his face in an exhausted gesture. The music thrummed loudly, the lead singer's voice reached a crescendo and a spare bolt finally fell from his workbench.

 _"Sir?"_

Tony sighed, glancing up at the ceiling although Jarvis technically resided more within the walls.

"J, how fast do you think you could order be a Net Gun?"

Jarvis was silent for the duration of Tony reaching his liquor cabinet, and pulling out one of his favourite drinks.

 _"Sir, I do not advise using a Net Gun within the household, regardless of your current status with Clinton Barton and your ongoing prank-"_

"No no!" Tony shushed, clicking his tongue scoldingly, "Not that J! Think bigger! Imagine how easy it would be to get the baddies if we just have to fire a fishing net at them!"

 _"Sir, I do not believe that tactic would be effective against the flame body entities two months-"_

"Okay fine, but _normal_ baddies."

Tony flicked his wrist in a unique way which was unique to summoning a hologram of the most recent model. The Iron Man suit manifested under his outstretched fingers, glimmering faintly blue with the iridescence of a sapphire.

"If we took this out-" Tony mused, pulling open the back panel where the steel spine of the suit created the snug fit against his own back, "And removed the flares, would that be enough room for a Net Gun?"

 _"My searches have determined that the size of a Net Gun is too large for the suit."_

Tony swore.

He removed more pieces, including the spine supports and a few inflatable pouched near the small of his back entirely there for comfort, "Now?"

 _"The size of a Net Gun is too large for the suit. The problem resides with the size of the net itself, not the launching equipment."_

Tony hadn't thought of that.

"There's no way to cram a fishing net into my back?" He asked, grimacing at the absurdity of the question.

 _"Negative. May I suggest searching for an alternate source of your net?"_

"Yeah right, Jar." Tony snorted, rolling his eyes amused, " _Where_ am I going to find a compound with the ability to form a net like substance, yet be strong enough to hold down a rampaging rhino?"

Jarvis promptly offered security footage obtained through the streets of Manhattan as well as several police cruisers.

Tony's jaw dropped.

"Son of a Bitch, well, what do you know?"

* * *

Spiderman was alarmingly easy to track down, although it may have been because Tony had Jarvis who could single handedly view every security camera and the police radio.

He found the spandex wearing superhero just outside a rather shady looking corner store. He was in the process of webbing up a rather furious looking older man, an intimidating knife just a few feet away.

"You know- I think I've said this before but you people _really_ need to give up on your sharps. Sharing needles is already a mess, now you're going to be sharing knives? Christmas weapon exchange?"

Tony almost cracked a smile, although the voice was deceptively young. He didn't sound like he was out of High School yet- was he even _legal?_

The robber or drug addict- Tony didn't care, made a loud noise of protest, thrashing against his restraints. The white web didn't even move.

"Don't discriminate, they could celebrate Hanukkah." Tony sniped, landing loudly right behind the hero. Spiderman jumped, springing backwards into a handspring before landing it with liquid grace even Natasha didn't have.

"Oh my bad, should have asked. You want some web to play Cat's Cradle?"

Tony snorted and raised his face shield, holding his hands aloft in peace. "No thanks, I come in peace. Just want to ask a few questions."

Spiderman stared with the large imposing white eyes on his mask, although Tony was getting the impression of a stupefied blink. "You 'come in Peace'? What am I? Spider's from Space?"

"They made a movie named that," Tony offered, "or something like that. Clint has terrible tastes in movies."

Spiderman shook his head, "Clint? As in, _Hawkeye?"_

"Hey, don't go fangirling on me, I still have questions."

"Tony Stark has questions for me," The boy breathed out, sounding just as awed as any reporter Tony had ever met, "Maybe it _is_ Christmas."

"Yeah yeah, let's go, Spider Boy-"

"It's _Spiderman."_

"And I'm Iron Man, seems we got our masculinity out in the open. Now chop chop, up the water spout or something and on the roof."

* * *

Tony returned to the tower with all the composure of a cat stuck out in the rain too long. He glared, grumbled, and with one memorable hiss he actively swiped Steve's glass of apple juice onto the floor.

Nobody would quite get it out of him what was wrong, or who had crushed his dreams. Natasha offered to find whoever had stolen his car, her drink was also knocked to the floor.

Tony then took off to the basement, murmuring something about impossible compounds and teenage hormones.

Thor had returned with a large bag of groceries, he boisterously announced that he had tried shopping on his own and procured a marvelous feast. Steve, the resident chef, hadn't the heart to tell him that a Rotisserie Chicken rarely went together with Mango Chutney Anchovies.

Thor hadn't minded, and instead prepared roasted lamb leg in such a way even Bruce, the normally healthy eater of the team, was taking seconds and thirds. The thick gravy was filled with flavours Clint suspected was impossible to obtain with human ingredients.

Tony still refused to surface from his lab, Jarvis relaying some sort of mangled message involving nerf guns, air compression, and Blackbeard the pirate.

They settled down, partially in a food coma to watch a film Clint had illegally pirated from the internet.

They were just to the point where a large crocodile was on the rampage when Natasha tensed and looked around quickly. Her hands fell to her side, before they clenched in absence of her knives.

"Tasha?" Clint asked, not quite sensing anything was wrong, "The movie isn't _that_ bad."

"Oh it is; didn't you notice that the voice actor is American but everyone else is Japanese?"

They all jumped, Clint fumbling as he kicked off the coffee table to lunge over the couch in a crouch. Natasha followed suit, holding in a tense position just shy of Clint's leg. Thor jumped upright, one hand ready to summon Mjolnir at a moment's notice.

The invader was a young man, dressed in _spandex._

"Or if that's not bad," The stranger continued, "They swapped out the main lady's actor halfway through- and _nobody noticed?_ I mean- look at them! That's just racist if they think we wouldn't catch that!"

"This movie is a classic," Clint defended, looking offended.

The masked man looked at him pointedly, "In return I raise you the score this thing got on Rotten Tomatoes."

Bruce quietly cleared his throat, "It's so bad they didn't even rate it."

"Nobody asked you, Banner!"

At once the stranger's stance shifted, altering to something borderline anxious and excited, "Wait- _Banner?_ Like- _Bruce Banner?"_

Bruce blinked but offered a small confused wave.

"Did we literally get broken into by a fangirl?" Clint deadpanned, looking almost scandalized, "His wardrobe is worse than yours, Cap."

Steve gave a squawk of something surprised and offended.

"Oh!" The masked man hurried, holding his hands up with peace, "No! I'm not trying to break in, no damage here. Well, I may break the TV but only because you all shouldn't have to suffer-"

Clint cracked a fist angrily.

"But I'm here for Mr. Stark!" The man hurriedly finished, "The name's Spiderman! He came and asked me a question and I realized I wasn't being really clear so I came over thinking I could maybe elaborate and maybe see his lab which would be _very cool,_ and _wow_ you're big." He finished lamely, eying Thor as the Asgardian walked over with lumbering steps, "Am I going to get punched? I'm going to get punched, aren't I."

"Nay, my friend." Thor chuckled, "Your words betray you as only a comrade."

Spiderman tilted his head slightly, "Oh, alright, cool. You seem like the kind of guy who would do that pot of ale and safety, or something like that."

Bruce snorted, having caught the Shakespeare reference.

"Wait," Steve blurted, turning and lowering himself slightly to finally be at eye level with the large white eyes, "You're the masked man who caught 43 robberies?"

Clint blinked and looked stunned, "We ask you to get up to date with modern era, and you do that by looking at _police reports?"_

Steve smiled instead, offering a hand, "I like to keep my eye on the underdogs. Amazing work, Spiderman. Especially with that Lizard fellow."

Spiderman made a small noise which was not human, "Oh my god, I'm shaking Captain America's hand. I'm _talking_ to Captain America."

Bruce shook his head and turned back to the TV, apparently the plot had thickened and now Euros were involved with the large Crocodile rampage.

"Jarvis?" Natasha sighed, straightening and putting on a fake relaxed stance, "Can you tell Tony that he has a guest?"

 _"Of course, Lady Natasha."_

Spiderman jolted, "What is that? Is that a full scripture AI?"

 _"I am Sir's fully equipped and operational Automatic Intelligence."_

"Oh you're _beautiful."_ Spiderman cooed, looking up excitedly, "Are you restrained only to this tower? Or do you have a Cellular link as well?"

 _"I am fully operational of all of Sir's suits as well as most coding networks."_

Spiderman nearly swooned.

* * *

"So what's your real name?" Tony asked, fiddling with a tiny screwdriver on an equally tiny screw.

Spiderman shifted, sitting on a table top across from Tony's main workbench. He had been passing the time, throwing plastic scraps on the floor for Butterfingers and Dummy to retrieve.

"Err, I'd rather not." Spiderman responded, "You know, I got a life out there."

"Well we all do, It's not like we're Superhero's all the time," Tony dryly added, pausing, "Well, actually maybe Spangles _is,_ I think he got a cat out of a tree on his morning run."

"Lucky him, I bet he's _crawling_ with er- _cats."_

Tony grinned, pointing his screwdriver at Spiderman dramatically, "You, I like you. Can I keep you?"

"Only if I get a diamond encrusted collar."

"Done. Do you need a hammock or are you going to just sleep in your own web, little spider?" Tony crooned, "I can get you a jar of flies weekly."

Spiderman snickered, finding the situation equally amusing.

"So, question," Spiderman started, thrumming his fingers on the table as Butterfingers wheeled over having caught the piece of plastic. He snatched it, twirling it with inhuman dexterity before tossing it across the room again, "The suit. You said in a few press releases that it's a Titanium Gold Alloy but that doesn't make _sense."_

Tony paused, looking up with genuine curiosity, "What do you mean?"

"Okay okay," Spiderman jumped down, his spandex outfit squeaking slightly. "If it was Gold, it would have weighed three _hundred_ , and a normal person can't move that! And it would have been too soft- I've seen footage of you getting hit. I was thinking, the Titanium makes sense, but It would have to be a Nickel-Titanium alloy, and I _think_ that's called Nici-"

"Nitinol," Tony corrected, crossing his arms and looking marginally impressed, "And Graphite with Carbon fiber to reduce the melting point and increase the heat shell."

Spiderman cried out excitedly, " _Exactly!_ I don't understand why nobody has questioned it!"

Tony shrugged, "People are idiots, and they like the thought that I'm made of gold. Although, _you,"_ Tony snapped, pointing dramatically at the younger male, "You _aren't_ stupid. That web juice you have is _revolutionary-_ heck I should call Bruce down here; he'd love to analyze it."

"Please," Spiderman looked dazed, "Bruce Banner is my hero."

Tony cracked a grin, leaning back on his chair and crossing his arms, " _But,_ although you're smart you have a few flaws. Mainly the enemies you fight,"

Spiderman tilted his head, "I just fight people who the cops can't?"

"The cops are _useless."_

"No!" Spiderman argued, before pausing and sighing, "Okay, _maybe."_

"This web juice is impossible," Tony deadpanned, "I don't know _how_ you stabilize it- and I invented a new element!" Tony growled annoyed, "And I can't figure out a _high schooler's_ chemistry experiment."

"Hey!" Spiderman argued, "I'm not in high school!"

"No, you're in University." Tony responded, twisting his finger and summoning a hologram under his fingers, he then tossed it across the room to the masked figure.

The moment Spiderman started to read through the data, he let out a high pitch awkward laugh, "What are you? Sherlock Holmes?"

Tony purposely didn't say anything as the younger boy started to anxiously skitter across the room.

"Look, Mr. Stark, what- what do you want?" He started, word fumbling out of his mouth quickly, "I don't have money- I - I'll give you the compound! Maybe eventually you can deconstruct it or or- or I'll work for you or-"

"Whoa whoa," Tony blinked, holding up his hands, "Hold up there Arachnakid. Look- I don't _care._ But I need your help, I'm trying to bag a supervillain and your webs seem like the only thing that may do it."

"My help?" Peter breathed, exhaling a quiet _"Whoa."_

"Right, but I'm making you a better suit."

"What! No! No I made this one myself!"

Tony raised an eyebrow and spotted the faint blood stain on the bright blue, "You sew?"

"Actually used a spinning wheel."

"You-" Tony's jaw clicked, "Did you _just-"_

Peter very guilty answered a long questioning, "No?"

Tony breathed through his nose, "Okay kid, first, I'm going to clear you from the internet so other people can't track you down as easily as I did."

"Really? I thought it would be hard to get me off the web."

Tony groaned, and threateningly pointed, " _Stop._ Seriously, these puns are going to get to me, I already get enough from Natasha."

Peter paused, "Normally I'm the one being driven up the wall-"

Tony threw the screwdriver.

* * *

Spiderman was given two outfits, both made out of military grade Kevlar and a flexible material Natasha had on her own suits. Tony had to eventually consult Peter, debating over a payphone the color scheme.

Eventually Peter had won, Tony calling defeat when Peter had managed a quick witted pun involving Tony spitting venom, and got his well-known blue and red.

The second suit was Tony's prized beauty, made in ash greys with reflective panels between the artistic spider webs, it looked as gaudy as a tiger. Once it would be compared to the Manhattan buildings and stone, it would camouflage in a way which shouldn't be possible.

And as much as Tony enjoyed Peters quips and memorable one-liners, being on the defensive and the lookout was the only way he would catch Loki.

Not that the others actually knew what Tony was planning on doing.

(He had a feeling, considering the two arrows 's Clint had sent, that they would attack first anyways.)

Eventually they did get the call, a series of robots attacking downtown. There were only five, although each were the size of a small car and had loud chittering noises with grenade launchers.

Clint had made one joke about a car commercial involving giant rodents, and then the grenades started detonating.

Spiderman was being tracked on his HUD, his heat signature since the reflector panels were working amazingly well. He was staying out of the way, with the exception of flinging back one or two grenades that had gotten too close to the pedestrians.

Tony felt bad that he purposefully wasn't trying to hack the robots, yet he knew with this type of damage control Loki would show up any mom-

 _"Sir, I am detecting the presence of Loki five hundred meters behind you."_

Tony selected the private communications link and searched for his little spy-der once again, "You hear that Arachnakid?"

 _"Hard to hear anything over your bucket of bolts, Sir."_

"Hey there," Tony argued back, blasting one of the machines to get its attention, "You a bit rusty with me?"

 _"That was terrible."_

"It was better than yours!" Tony argued back, trying to get through a metal panel on the one angry robot.

 _"You're such a female."_

Tony paused and frowned, sending a repulsor blast at the machine.

 _"You know. Fe, like Iron-"_

Tony groaned, if he could rub his temples he would. "Alright kid, stay out of the way but keep your eye on Loki. I'm gonna hack these things- the moment it looks clear you web him and get him out."

 _"Your team not fond of him? Then again he did invade- Whoa. Are those antlers for real? Is this Renaissance Fair, because he's missing the corset."_

Tony snorted and left the small hero to do his thing.

Clint finally sent a diamond tipped arrow through the metal of one machine, Thor then struck through the hole and finally managed to tear it apart. Steve used the sharp edge of his shield to open a cavity, where Natasha quickly lobbed in one of its own grenades.

Jarvis managed to hack into the coding and remotely shut down the machines. At the same time, he heard a faint sound of crackling ice but before he could look, it was gone.

"Jarvis?"

 _"It appears Mr. Parker has successfully captured and detained Loki. They are currently located on the new construction of the Hardison Building."_

Tony grunted, watching the creatures grow limp and drop entirely to the ground. Thankfully, all that was left was the immense clean up job.

"Jarvis, team line," Tony instructed, landing on the cracked pavement, "Whoo, go team."

 _"Really, Stark? That's the best you got?"_

"You're playing with fire, Bird brain."

 _"Out of the two of us, who actually has the combustion arrows?"_

 _"Guys, focus. Clean up is heading through, we're done here."_

"Sweet, I have a few errands to run, people to not see," Tony sighed, watching silently as the GPS map uploaded on his HUD, "Combustion arrows to avoid."

 _"Check in if you need anything, Iron Man."_

Tony gave a salute before firing his repulsors and blasting through the air, taking an elaborate path just to make sure that nobody (SHIELD in particular) was tracing his path.

He zoomed into the construction zone, amazingly windy and settled on a steel beam. It was actually pretty precarious, but had plenty of open areas for some sort of ninja or insect boy to swing around on.

"Hi! Glad you made it!" Peter chirped, perched _upside down_ only by his hands and feet on a beam directly overhead.

"Kid, how are you sticking?" Tony blinked, shaking his head in disbelief, "That surface is almost entirely flat."

"It's my amazing spider powers. I can smell fear too," Peter offered, and Tony wasn't sure if he was joking or not.

Loki was wrapped up almost comically in a cocoon large enough to be a sleeping bag. It had several supports connecting it to nearby beams and chains, making sure the god wouldn't be breaking free anytime soon. The shell was also ridiculously thick, considering two strands of the web could stop a falling car.

"That's more than I had to put on the Lizard," Spiderman remarked, climbing around to view both of them, "Those Asgardians sure have something in the water."

Loki glared, his helmet had been taken down and set on a nearby pillar, secured by a bit of web. Loki's hair was dark and wet looking, yet crusty in some spot. He had a head wound? His mouth was filled with a thick gag of the web, causing his skin to look more pale with the pure white silk around him. White silk like snowflakes.

"Whoa, you're not looking too hot, Prancer." Tony blinked, rising the face plate so he could approach the god, "Actually, you've been looking terrible for weeks."

Loki's nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed with all the terror of a cornered animal.

"I'll just uh, leave you two." Spiderman saluted, "Text me if you need me, gramps."

Tony flipped him off right as Spiderman gave an actual flip.

Loki's face turned into a sneer, the attempt looking more desperate than real.

"Alright, so uh," Tony shifted awkwardly, he wasn't good with this kind of stuff, "I've been thinking and some things haven't been clicking right. About you, well, about _everything."_

Loki tugged at his restraints.

"Okay, so the Invasion, that was really obvious. There were _dozens_ of loopholes, and everything you did was too…" Tony struggled for words, "Too _orchestrated,_ like, you were giving a performance or something."

Loki paused, and his eyes once again revealed terror. Tony felt something cold nestle in his chest, "Oh my god, you _were-_ the scepter it-"

Tony blinked and shook his head, "Okay, so uh, why are you helping us? I mean, you aren't doing anything for show, you're sticking to the back and god knows how many times you've given Natasha a panic attack because she can't see you except out of the corner of her eyes. You're playing like you're trying to stay ali-"

A dove cooed and flapped in, landing nearby as Tony only felt his heartbeat in his throat.

"You're trying to stay alive," Tony whispered, blinking rapidly, "That's why you're helping us. There's something coming, isn't there?"

Loki hung his head, Tony could see his pulse thrumming through his throat.

Tony felt at a loss, he wasn't sure what to do. Loki had the look of a wounded animal in his green eyes-

"Jarvis," Tony spoke, sliding his faceplate closed, "Pull up Loki's profile from SHIELD."

It said blue eyes.

"Son of a _bitch."_

* * *

 **I'm aiming for this story to have around 2 or 3 chapters, depending on the length of the next chapter.**

 **Review and depending on what you would like to see, I'll alter the following chapter to accommodate you.**


	2. Chapter 2

Tony instantly called. He should have felt some semblance of apology for calling the kid only minutes after he had left, but now he needed a new game plan.

Instead of SpiderMan actually answering the call, the mirror clad hero swooped through two beams before landing in a ninja crouch on a platform too small for _anyone_ to pull off a ninja crouch.

"What's up, Tin Man?" SpiderMan asked, turning to acknowledge Loki with a "Hanging in alright, Peppermint Patty?"

"Peppermint?" Tony questioned, causing the smaller male to groan.

"Oh yeah, spider senses. That guy smells like he walked through a Bath and Body Works during the December sale. It makes my face hurt."

Tony snickered at how outraged Loki looked in that moment, "I think he wants to make your face hurt for other reasons."

Peter flipping his hand, proclaimed, "Tarantula, Ta _ran_ tula. Same things, just said differently."

"Are you as hairy as a tarantula?"

"Alright, Mr. Stark. That is on a firm need-to-know basis and you haven't gotten to that stage of being my sugar daddy yet."

The younger jumped down, standing in Tony's immediate vicinity. SpiderMan straightened, still wearing his reflective panel suit, and leant firmly against Tony's chest.

"So, what's the diagnosis, doc? Mild Insanity? Short term madness?"

"Worse," Tony grimaced, "I think, when he invaded with that army, he was under mind control."

Peter scrambled back. His voice, higher than normal, all but shrieked, "That's a _thing_? Are _all_ of those Science Fiction head-cannons coming true?"

"What head-canons?" Tony blinked. Genuinely he didn't know any, "Are there any about me?"

"Yeah, you and Captain America are apparently banging each other and he makes good apple pie."

"Steve doesn't even know how to use my _oven."_

Peter shrugged, "To be honest, people my age jump to ridiculous conclusions. And find out things that they shouldn't know but _somehow_ they _do?"_ Peter's voice rose as his confusion mounted, "Like, just the other day a friend of mine was telling me how Captain America is going to substitute teach at Xavier's, as an _art teacher?"_

Tony blinked, even he hadn't known that. "Really?"

"Never underestimate the powers of fans."

Loki flailed once more, the hollow noise of his fists banging against the hardened cocoon resonated dully. Trails of saliva were hanging down from where the white silk gagged him, even his Asgardian teeth weren't able to saw through.

"Right right, so problem at hand." Spider Man started, "We got Loki and apparently he was mind controlled. What are we gonna do, give him to Xavier? See if he can fix him?"

Tony lowered his faceplate only to give Peter a dry look, "Are you kidding me? I worked long and hard for this caribou, no way am I just giving him to a mutant."

"Hey watch it," Peter shot him quickly, "Technically, I could classify as a mutant."

Well, that wasn't wrong.

"Okay okay, no discrimination here," Tony tried to sooth the situation, "I mean, I love Brucie and Xavier is cool, but I don't like people messing around up there." Tony tapped his temple gently with the Iron Man gauntlet, "Just in case someone messes with the genius."

Peter gave a shrug, "Okay, I get that. Um, I know this guy that apparently is into hocus pocus stuff?"

"Petey, I know that a boy your age participates in illegal substances but-"

" _No!"_ Peter yelped, scrambling backwards and nearly falling off his little platform, "Okay, that _did_ sound like a drug dealer, but I swear it isn't. I think he used to be a doctor or something? And then reports in the superhero network said something about now he does magic-"

"Superhero network?" Tony almost laughed, "Do we have a Facebook page too?"

Tony managed to close his visor just before a wet splat of silk hardened over his face. He opened it with a scowl, "That wasn't funny."

"Oh _my bad._ But yeah, surprising enough, I _do_ know how to use the web."

Tony paused, "You already used that joke."

"Oh come on, It's not like I have that much to work with."

Alright, Peter had that point as well.

"Okay, you find out more about this magic man you happen to know-" Tony paused, "And if he sells shrooms, let me know because that _also_ is important. To our investigation. Never know what'll cure our frosty friend."

"Shrooms?" Peter deadpanned, "I am a legal law abiding citizen, Sir. I do not think partaking in that sort of behavior is befitting for someone of your caliber-"

Tony shook his head, "Fine fine, I get it. Sheesh, almost as noble as Spangles' sex life."

"Dude, I live in west side Queens. The most noble thing I saw was a drug dealer keeping his side of the bargain."

Tony squinted at Peter speculatively, "You know a weed dealer? Because I got an always angry pal who _really_ needs some weed."

"You got the dough, I'll get it for yo." Peter replied with a perfect deadpan in an embarrassingly spot on drug dealer accent. Complete with gang signs.

"Where have you been all my life?"

* * *

Loki was cocooned further, just to make sure the shell couldn't escape. From there, Tony grabbed the casing (thanks to a few handles Peter added to the sleeping bag of angry Asgardian) and took off for a nearby storage facility.

There weren't many places to hide a supervillain in New York. Peter was the one to suggest a large storage company, with thousands of small rooms that looked the exact same.

Peter had the exact amount of awkwardness needed for the man in charge to give him a key and not ask any other questions. Tony snuck in the back once the security cameras were disabled and placed the muted webbed mess into one of the larger rooms.

"Great, go team." Tony exhaled, deactivating the suit into a briefcase.

"What do we do with him now?" Peter asked, cramming his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, "This feels wrong."

"Petey, when you live like us, you gotta tear a few tags off of mattresses, even though it says not to."

"Sir, that isn't even _comparable_ to _kidnapping a god."_

Tony shrugged, "Something to put on your resume."

Peter groaned, turning and mumbling something under his breath as his hands fisted his hair anxiously.

Peter spun suddenly, eyes wide and frightened, "I have a family! What if he gets loose!"

Tony frowned, he hadn't really thought that Peter was that devoted to his family. Tony never really had understood family connections.

"I'll send some security guards to your house? Sneaky ones, like ninja assassins," Tony soothed, "Your family won't even know they're there."

Peter was still fretting nervously, twitching his fingers in a rhythmic anxious habit which was endearing in its own way.

"Tell you what kid," Tony spoke up, breaking the silence, "After all of this is over, you'll work at my tower. R&D, you'll love it. And you can have a private lab, to work on those," Tony pointed to the small devices around Peter's wrists hidden just out of view.

Peter looked struck, "You- you mean it?"

"Wouldn't have offered if I didn't."

"I-" Peter stumbled through what he was trying to say, "I mean- I'd _love to_ , but I don't wanna get in your way-"

"Kid, you're smart." Tony frowned, why didn't Peter understand that? "I _still_ can't understand how you made that webbing, and you showed me the formula."

Peter grinned cheekily, eyes sparkling in delight, "Wanna know a secret, Mr. Stark?"

Tony leaned forward interested. It was no use to try and correct Peter's politeness in how to refer to his new employer.

"I have these things-" Peter mentioned vaguely somewhere on his back, "and it makes the missing component in my webbing."

Tony's jaw dropped, "You have _spinnerets?"_

Peter winked, then turned and left the storage unit.

* * *

Tony paced restlessly as Jarvis dialed. The ringing noise created more tension the longer it went unanswered.

Finally, there was a click and a garbled, _"Yeah?"_

"Peter!" Tony barked out, feeling inexplicably relieved now that he knew his young friend was alright, "Are you on a bridge or something? Riding in a car with the top down?"

 _"Um,"_ There was a noticeable pause, _"I'm on a car? Technically?"_

"Look at you, you little speed demon," Tony snarked, pausing when the other end went grainy for a few moments before clearing out, "Better?"

 _"You would not believe the traffic; I swear these people are trying to kill me."_

"Splat on the windshield," Tony dryly stated, pulling up multiple document files, "So anyways, I checked out doctors and magic and got nothing except referrals to psychiatric wards-" Peter snorted heavily and Tony decided to ignore it, " _But,_ apparently there was this guy who was a good surgeon, I may have let him take a crack at my reactor actually-"

 _"That good?"_ Peter whistled low, the sound choppy and distorted on the phone, _"Oh man, Stark quality. Not sure that's in my paygrade."_

"You get a raise."

 _"What's my health insurance? What if I or a loved one has mesothelioma-"_

"That's because you go flying into old buildings."

 _"Touché. Alright, hit me with what you got. Some high end surgeon that even you're impressed by?"_

"Yep," Tony hummed, "But then he got in a hardcore car crash- _ooh,_ that car is totally my style, and this guy completely _wrecked_ his hands."

 _"When you say wrecked, do you mean like-"_

"Like, Bruce's shirt after he hulks out," Tony emphasized, grabbing a nearby bottle of water, "Totally _wrecked."_

 _"Dang, that's Grand Theft Auto level of wrecked. Okay, so amazing surgeon gone to crap- please tell me it's not another Lizard."_

"Nah, but he did vanish mysteriously off the grid after giving up on PT. Not that I blame them, they just whine and get angry when you don't do the stretches anyways."

 _"Vanished? Just like that? This is stinking of supervillain."_

 _"But,_ he _does_ show up. In a hospital, after being _stabbed."_

 _"Which hospital? I can try and go ask around if you want-"_

"Nah, Jarvis already broke in," Tony dismissed, flicking through the feed and watching the actual recording, "Although he seems to be our guy. I think he just made a broom cupboard the portal to Narnia."

 _"Okay, I'm just going to say right now it's against my morals to kill a Lion."_

Tony snorted, "Right, I'll just give you to the crocodile."

 _"As long as it's not a gorilla. I'm still mourning for Harambe."_

* * *

Once Tony started to look into the files, he realized that this man _was_ one of the surgeons who was going to work on the Arc.

Tony had made plans hastily about getting the shrapnel removed from his body- he had searched the best surgeons on the _planet_ trying to find someone capable enough. Unfortunately, it had dawned on him that every piece of shrapnel was too difficult to remove so the reactor would have to stay.

This, Dr. _Strange_ was one of the top three surgeons on his list for possible open heart surgery.

And as such, Tony had his direct phone number.

Tony considered telling Peter of this development, but decided ultimately not to. It was time for grown up conversations.

He dialed, well, rather Jarvis dialed. And he waited, and waited-

The phone number was at least still in _use,_ Tony had a feeling that this man wouldn't pick up anyways.

Plan B.

"Jarvis, do a facial scan on the security footage and find out who that nurse was that helped him when he got stabbed," Tony clipped out, already searching through employee information.

 _"Of course, Sir. Ms. Palmer is the nurse you described."_

"Palmer, Palmer," Tony muttered to himself, browsing down the list. Thank goodness that the last name wasn't something ridiculously common

"Gotcha, Christine Palmer." Tony nodded, flicking the number to dial.

The phone rang repeatedly, before finally clicking.

 _"Hello?"_ The voice was gently feminine, although noticeably puzzled.

"Hi! Yes, Palmer right?" Tony asked, far too giddy to act entirely civil, "At least, I'm guessing that's you since it's on your hospital profile."

 _"I- excuse me? Who are you?"_

"Oh right, my bad. I'm always bad with introductions, well, I actually just forget that I need to do them still. Tony Stark, you may have heard of me." He grinned, the smooth confidence rolling off his words.

The phone was quiet for a few moments, _"Right, yes. Erm, how can I help you, Mr. Stark?"_

She didn't believe it was him, which was quite the inconvenience.

"Jarvis," Tony asked with a frown, "Can we initiate a link, like, a face to face thing?"

With a low beep, a panel appeared with the baffled and exhausted face of Christine Palmer.

At once, her eyes widened and her breath hitched.

 _"Oh,"_ She breathed, sounding completely apologetic, _"I hadn't realized-"_

"No worries," Tony accepted, flipping his wrist dismissively, "I actually am looking for your friend- Mr. Strange? I have a bit of a situation and I need his help, I mean, if he can help."

Palmer's expression tightened, _"Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know where he is right now. I'll leave him your name and number and he can call you back when available-"_

"Look." Tony sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "We have this guy who has scrambled eggs for a brain through some sort of funky mind control."

Palmer's face twitched with the instant sympathy only nurses seemed to have, _"Oh, why don't you go to the X-men, or I could refer you to a psychiatri-"_

"No, see," Tony paused, "He's not…. he's kinda a mage."

Palmer blinked, _"A mage? That's silly, magic doesn't exist."_

Tony shot her a dry look which conveyed the _'yeah-you're-not-fooling-me.'_

"All of this is under the table- no government work, no agencies, and no Avengers," Tony soothed, "Only me, and I could really use the help."

Christine Palmer chewed her lower lip, looking uncomfortable with the situation.

"And if it isn't so much to ask," Tony added in quietly, his voice unsteady with the highly uncomfortable topic, "I'd like for him to take a look at _this_ again." He tapped the shell of his reactor, the faint blue light barely visible through the black material of his shirt.

Her expression instantly softened and saddened. _"Mr. Stark, I'm not sure if you know but Mr. Strange isn't certified-"_

"No, no not like that," Tony recovered, shifting in his seat awkwardly, "I can engineer some machines to do it for me, or find someone else. But he knows his procedures well and-" Tony rambled off, anxiety mounting.

Palmer took pity and nodded soothingly, _"I understand. Steven has been terribly busy, but normally you can find him in Greenwich Village. You may see him out on the streets- he likes taking walks?"_

"Taking walks, got it." Tony blinked, "Should we just uh, bring our hostage there or-"

 _"Oh, right."_ She rubbed her face with one hand, _"Your friend. Alright, you can find him at 177A Bleecker Street. You should probably talk before bringing anyone with you."_

"I can do that," Tony nodded, "I'm amazing at negotiations, can totally talk to a magician."

 _"Sorcerer actually, good luck."_

She broke the connection with a sly expression of amusement. Somehow, Tony had a feeling talking to this man was going to be a challenge.

* * *

The area of New York was littered with roads too narrow for the exotic cars Tony owned. Small street shops and venders on every street corner would make it too difficult to land the suit, not even accounting for how people would swarm him in excitement.

Suit and gaudy car weren't an option. Peter's webs would be just as bad.

There was also a chance that any sort of superhero activity would send Strange even further into hiding, which left the two with the only available option.

(Peter was _so smug_ when he could show off his New York taxi whistle.)

The taxi driver was suitably surprised although didn't try to scam either of them. He took the two down the streets Tony would have taken, and talked only briefly in the New York drawl Peter had never developed.

They arrived in Greenwich Village a few blocks over from the address Ms. Palmer supplied. The streets were just windy enough that it sent a shiver down Tony's spine. Peter slung the hood of his sweatshirt up and over his scruffy hair, hiding his ears from the chill.

They passed a few people on the street, nobody recognizing Tony miraculously. There was one street vendor who looked almost willing to call out, but seemed to think better of it.

Tony stuffed his cold hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

"There," Peter blurted, squinting and wincing suddenly at the action. Tony glanced where his younger friend had been staring, the building was nondescript and Tony felt his eyes rolling away-

"Whoa," Tony winced, forcing himself to stare and not turn his head, "What the heck?"

"I know right?" Peter grunted, rubbing the heel of one of his hands against his eye, "This is some Doctor Who crap right here."

Finally, after determined staring, the illusion cracked and crumbled. Nobody seemed aware as the stone itself seemed to shatter like a mirror, large broken shards of paper thin rock tumbled to the pavement and out of existence.

The building behind was spectacularly nondescript.

"That's it? You saw that, right?" Tony's voice rose to something distractingly high pitched, "You saw it just- just do _that?"_

"Yep," Peter blinked, "I really shouldn't be surprised anymore."

Peter took off across the street, hands in his pocket and looking both ways to prevent getting hit by a speeding car.

"Wait!" Tony gasped out, scrambling to chase after, "How did you know it was there?"

Peter tapped his head just shy of his temple and gave a meaningful look towards the genius. The _'Not-now_ ' look.

They walked up the standard stone steps, although Peter noticed deep grooves in the stone.

"That looks like a diamond circle saw," Tony muttered, looking at other similar marks.

"Bet you it wasn't." Peter grinned cheekily, subtly pointing to a small spot of missed black char. Someone had done an elaborate job cleaning up soot and char from the front of the building.

Why would this Dr. Strange take time to clean so thoroughly if it was only him living here? Why would he try to keep appearances in his self-exile?

The only conclusion was that he had been attacked, and was trying to hide the evidence. With how difficult it was to even find the building, it must be other magical people who visited.

"Stay alert," Tony muttered under his breath, flexing his hand around his phone in his pocket, "I think we're stumbling into a cult here."

"Oh?" Peter had a small grin on his face, probably trying to sooth his own nerves, "Should I have brought a rabbit from the pet store?"

"They probably won't do any blood stuff," Tony paused, "Right? _Right?"_

Peter shrugged, "I thought they could pull it out of a hat or something."

Peter stood swiftly with the superhuman grace of a gymnast. He took the last two steps quickly, pulling out one hand to rap against the wooden door. It echoed slightly, just enough for Peter to tilt his head and listen. Tony did the best he could to breathe quieter, he even placed a hand over his watch.

"There's someone coming," Peter reported, frowning slightly as he tried to focus, "Male I think, or a really buff girl. The strides are long so either they're taking a stroll or it is a really tall guy."

Tony gave a nod and fiddled with his phone in his pocket. A sharp breeze pierced the two of them, drawing another fit of convulsive shivering.

"What- I think they're just standing there," Peter whined, twitching uncontrollably against the cold, "That _dick."_

Tony was about to respond that they weren't yet sure of the proper genitalia, but the large door creaked open and blasted the warmth of a heated home. Peter scrambled in, rubbing his fingers reverently while Tony winced at the sudden sharp temperature change. Considering how the casing to his Arc actually _hurt_ for a short instance, that sudden of a temperature change shouldn't be possible.

"I take it back; you aren't a dick." Peter exhaled in bliss from the heat, "You're the least dickish guy I know."

"Flattered," A deep drawling voice echoed, sounding bitterly sharp as well as suspicious. The building opened into a square hall, curved flights of stairs sloped around the sides onto the second level in a dramatic platform fit for a king's decree.

Standing on the platform, both hands on a dented banister, was one of the gaudiest people Tony had ever seen. Almost as bad as Thor.

"If you don't mind, I would like to ask what you're doing _here?"_

Oh, definitely scathing. A voice that low and in such a smooth grumble shouldn't be that attractive.

"Hi! You must be Mr. Strang- "

" _Doctor,"_ The man bit out, unusual hazel eyes flinty in the dim lighting.

Tony could understand that, the man lost his place as one of the best doctors on the planet, Tony would cling to that for as long as he could as well.

"Doctor Strange," Peter was unusually cheerful, bouncing on the balls of his feet, "We were wondering if you could help us help a guy who is currently knocked out and in a storage unit in a giant cocoon because we think he got mind controlled by aliens." Peter paused, thinking, "Oh! And he does magic too."

"Don't forget that he's an alien also, I hear that's important." Tony offered, finally finding his voice.

The man curled his mouth into a small frown. His facial hair wasn't nearly as cool as Tony's.

Then he leant forward, almost the picture of exhaustion and resigned disbelief, "You know," Doctor Strange started, "That's not even the strangest thing I've had someone tell me in the last month."


	3. Chapter 3

**I said this story would have 3 chapters.**

 **I lied.**

* * *

Doctor Strange was not a warm hearted man.

The foreign looking doctor had blandly spoke, before he gestured for the two to leave his home as rapidly as they came. Once Tony and Peter made it well known through vocal protest, the man started with a loud sound of aggressive annoyance.

Tony then responded instinctively with prompting _more_ of the aggressive sound, which Peter didn't understand since instinctive responses were supposed to work alongside self-preservation.

Doctor Strange then responded with equal verbal rudeness, which Peter frankly didn't think was possible.

Tony glared all the while comparing Doctor Strange's face to a poorly made taxidermy otter.

Peter finally stepped between the two, and with a single smooth motion, webbed two mouths shut.

"There!" Peter chirped, rubbing his palms together to reset his web slingers while rocking on his heels, "Can we please act like adults now?"

Tony stumbled backwards, poking at his mouth dumbly where the webbing stretched at the impact.

Doctor Strange made a loud muffled sound, tugging at the webbing vigorously and wincing at the same time.

"It's like a Band-Aid, just tear it off fast." Peter advised, giving a sheepish smile, "You two weren't going to stop anytime soon."

Tony incoherently shouted.

"What?" Peter asked, blinking slowly, "I didn't quite understand-"

There was a horrible tearing noise and the quietest whimper from behind Peter.

"See?" Peter stated, pointing with one thumb over his shoulder without looking, "Just follow the Doctor and-"

Then Tony's eyes lit up with mirth. Peter's webbing didn't disguise laughter as well as it did individual words.

"What are you-" Peter turned, and froze, "Oh, I forgot you have beards."

"You _forgot?"_ Doctor Strange hissed out, his skin already blossoming dark red where small patches of hair had been impromptu waxed, "How do you just _forget?"_

"Well, when your face is like the model for baby oil," Peter winced, forcing fake laughter that made the situation that much worse.

Tony tugged at his mouth, eyes widening in horror as he realized the situation he was in.

"Oh, tear it off, _Stark."_ Doctor Strange seethed, lips curling in amusement, "like a _Band-Aid."_

It turned out wails weren't disguised by the webbing either.

Peter walked over and mournfully patted Tony's shoulder. The man looked at Peter with something between hope and blame in his eyes.

"I know, I know," Peter nodded, "I'm not a genius."

Peter very quickly reached up and grasped the edges of his webbing between dexterous fingers. His spider sense tingled in the back of his brain, propelling him backwards nearly bent in two right as he tore the webbing off with the sound of duct tape being torn.

"My _face."_ Tony cried, hands rising to poke hesitantly at the burning spot nearest the edge of his facial hair, "My _baby-"_

Doctor Strange rolled his eyes, "If you consider facial hair your child, you-"

"Don't go insulting my baby!" Tony shouted, pointing with the drama entitled to being a superhero, "I have pride in my facial hair, unlike _one mangy-"_

"Boys boys! You're both genius'!" Peter shouted, stepping between and pointing his hands upwards with the veiled threat, "Don't make me web you again!"

Doctor Strange paused, "You're the vigilante. The web throwing masked teenager."

Peter nodded, then his smile faltered when he saw the poorly hidden disgust, "Aw, come on. Don't be a jerk about it, this job is _my_ baby."

"Then you have some serious family problems," Tony sniped.

"Excuse me?" Doctor Strange gave a single chuff of laughter, "From the man who said his _face-"_

"Hey hey!" Peter scowled, "You're worse than High School!"

"Step aside and let the adults talk then-" Doctor Strange dismissed without looking at Peter, "It's all above your level of comprehension anyways-"

"Peter is a bright kid!" Tony defended, "Probably scored twice as high as your old records."

"Why me," Peter sighed, "I just wanted to help an _Avenger,_ was this really too much to ask for? Really?"

"Shouldn't have involved yourself with Stark," Strange growled, "The man who flashes money more than any sort of loyalty-"

" _What_ did you just-"

Peter glanced upwards at the roof- it was curved in the stylish slant of old buildings in Manhattan. A chandelier hung artistically, casting enough light despite its rather shanty appearance.

Peter webbed it with his right hand and with practiced movements and defined upper body strength, pulled himself up the rope and swung.

The sudden movement directed all attention in the room to the upside down swinging boy.

"Okay okay," Peter started, adjusting to the blood rushing to his head, "We only wanted some help here, we didn't mean to make this a drama fest or for Mr. Stark to go all teenage girl on you."

Tony squawked, Peter ignored him.

"So, we'd _really_ appreciate it if you could maybe take a look at our friend- well, he's not really a friend. It's more like…" Peter blinked, "Well, could you take a look at him so we don't have to keep him in a storage unit anymore? It's the one with the obnoxious Christmas tree out front all year round-"

" _Fine,"_ Strange grit out, "I know the place. Which unit?"

"221!" Peter chirped, grinning from ear to ear, "Thank you _so_ much, by the way, I _love_ the cape. Really cool."

Doctor Strange scoffed, but looked slightly pleased. The cape itself fluttered wildly, as if buffeted by an imaginary wind. The collar flaps flitted in front of the sorcerer's chin, tapping together quickly like clapping hands.

"Thank you," Doctor Strange rumbled, pausing a second before adding casually, "it says thank you as well."

He turned, somehow twisted his hands and conjured a _spinning circle of sparks,_ and stepped through out of sight.

Peter blinked, making sure it wasn't an elaborate parlor trick. No matter how hard he looked and listened, there was no evidence of the man ever having been there.

"That- that-" Tony spluttered, eyes wide as he jumped once, trying to see up over the edge of the balcony above, "He's still there, right? That didn't just happen."

Peter blinked, "Well, I think we found a magician. Think he likes Harry Potter?"

* * *

The moment the spinning spark circle appeared once again, Tony leapt to his feet in shock and horror.

"No," He stated numbly, _"No,_ this- this can't-"

Peter instead couldn't help the grin that split across his face. The circle was shimmering with the memories of using sparklers on the Fourth of July in his backyard. They danced and twirled in the air, releasing the faintest smell of antique buildings and bookstores Peter sometimes visited. He stared harder, watching as the line twirled and distorted itself into something disorienting and fraying.

Each of the sparks actually _melted-_ dissolving away into the air like a time-lapse video of corrosion.

"Oh," Peter laughed, watching the sparks melt away into the very air and out of existence, "This is _amazing."_

The air inside the circle rippled like water- likely undetectable to the human eye. Peter had long since found uses for his spider senses, able to apply his slightly heightened abilities to other areas. The air smelled different, altering the smallest amount as the only warning that-

Doctor Strange stepped through the portal with the confidence of a Shakespearian actor. The cape flared behind him as if flying, rippling smoothly and shimmering like silks Peter had only ever read about. Held in Doctor Strange's arms and still unconscious was the hardened cocoon holding the Norse God.

"You didn't tell me I'd be assisting Loki." Doctor Strange muttered, more to Peter than to the still floundering Tony.

Peter's smile slowly slid, his eyes shining slightly with the glittering light, "We don't know anyone else who can help. We think there's seriously something wrong with him."

Doctor Strange frowned, "I haven't had a patient in a long time, kid."

Peter nodded, glancing at Tony who was now poking the circle dumbly, "Yeah, Tony told me. I'm sorry about the accident thing."

Doctor Strange scowled, looking off into nothing, his hands tightened around the shell, nails digging into the concrete tough webbing, "Technically he isn't human, so it won't affect my record anyways."

Peter grinned, "Let's get to business."

* * *

Loki was set up in an open room, surrounded by wooden walls and cushioned flooring. It looked more like a sparring room, and clearly went against the laws of architecture.

Peter was much more accepting of it, actually he found the entire scenario hilarious.

Tony continued to struggle.

"How," Tony bemoaned, collapsed on the floor with one forearm over his eyes, "This breaks the laws of _everything."_

"Maybe it's science we don't know yet!" Peter grinned, working with a trusty penknife to saw through the web cocoon.

"This breaks _Aristotle."_

"Maybe J.K Rowling is a wizard," Peter's eyes shimmered, "Oh that would be as arrogant as you."

 _"Einstein."_

"Think that he can transform people into frogs?" Peter asked, picking away at one decidedly tough strand of web, "That would be cool. Spiderman and Frogman- don't eat me though."

"... _Newton."_

Peter laughed, poking Tony's side encouragingly, "Relax! It could be much worse. It's not like you've swapped bodies with your alternate reality self. You could be in a reality where you're a girl. A reality where you're a fictional character."

"Don't be ridiculous Peter," Tony sniffed, "I'm too important even in alternate realities to be fake."

"No you aren't." Strange drawled, walking into the room carrying thick books with covers made of leather, "This reality is only one of many."

Peter grinned, "This is fun. What else can we do to break Mr. Stark?"

Strange gave a single hum, placing the books on a nearby table with an expression of deep thinking, "You explained that Loki is suffering from mental possession. I'm considering if it's extending to his astral self as well."

"Astral self?" Tony repeated, "Are you making this up to confuse me? You are, you totally are-"

"Mr. Stark, if you don't cease your nonsense, I'll have to ask young Mr. Parker to silence you again." Strange gave the smallest quirk of a smile, "This time removing _all_ of your facial hair."

"This isn't _fair."_ Tony whined, "You were a doctor! A _genius-_ you know science!"

"I do," Strange sighed, looking wistful, "I knew formulas and calculations for everything known to man. Then I learned that this is only one universe of infinite amount, I tapped into the plane of reality where mind and matter meet, and I've touched the root of existence."

"You sound like you've joined a cult." Tony complained.

Strange almost smiled, "I thought the same, before."

"So what's this thing? Astral self?" Peter asked, sitting upright and placing the penknife on the ground, "Astral as in star?"

"Aura," Strange corrected, "I am able to project people into the astral dimension, where we abandon our physical form and exist separate from the body."

"If I wanted that I'd hook up with Peter's weed dealer." Tony mumbled, causing Peter to rub his eyes with exasperation.

"If you're so disbelieving," Strange spoke louder, addressing the billionaire on the floor, "Perhaps you'd like a demonstration."

"Sure!" Tony chirped, jumping upright with the smug smile of self-confidence, "Because all of this is just David Blaine street-"

Doctor Strange pulled his hand back before jabbing forward in an open palmed strike, smacking firmly into Tony's chest just above the Arc Reactor and between his collarbones.

Tony went stiff, his balance toppled and he fell backwards onto the cushioned floor with the grace of a department store mannequin.

Peter looked at Strange curiously, who was essentially oozing satisfaction- and Tony jolted awake breathing heavily and scrambling across the ground.

"How- you- that-" Tony spluttered, running his hands through his hair with growing anxiety.

"Have you been enlightened?" Peter asked, tilting his head curiously, "Did you meet Gandhi? Become one with the Buddha? Find Nirvana?"

"The only Nirvana I know is the band," Tony blurted, blinking in absolute shock, "Doctor Strange I take back all that I said. You're ten times better than David Blaine, you could rent out Madison Square Garden."

Doctor Strange smiled the slightest bit, "Are you satisfied?"

"Was that the Astral dimension?" Tony blinked, his brain suddenly revving with the intensity of experimentation, "Is it individualized or a plane for multiples to access?"

"Multiple," Strange explained, "I intend to eject Loki from his physical shell to determine if his ailment affects his body or his soul."

Tony frowned, looking slightly jarred, "That was the representation of soul? But- no, physical impairments or injuries after birth shouldn't have existed-"

Strange nodded slowly, "When...When trauma has exceeded the ranges of physical scarring, and has left wounds engrained in your very being," He pointedly looked at Tony's chest, where the Arc Reactor rested, "It transfers to the representation of your soul."

Tony jerkily nodded, still shaken, "And yours-"

Strange gave an abrupt nod, clenching his jaw and daring the other to say anything further.

Tony didn't, displaying one of his rare moments of sincere apology and understanding, "Yeah, okay, let's get this party started." Peter awkwardly announced, bounding on the balls of his feet through his worn out shoes, "Let's do some magic mumbo and heal a crazy Norse mythology character."

"You know, Arachnakid," Tony started with the slow start of a smile, "If Caligula over there is just a character, in a thousand years maybe _we'll_ just be characters."

"You're really laying onto that parallel universe thing aren't you," Peter bemoaned, " _Fine,_ I bet you aren't even good enough to have a single _movie."_

Tony gasped, eyes widening in horror, "How _dare_ you-"

"I bet you'd be a minor supporting character," Peter's eyes glittered with amusement, "I bet that you'd show up in the middle of _someone else's_ comic book issue- not even in your very own."

"I hate you." Tony deadpanned, "I'm going to attach boosters to your shoes and send you so far into the sky, you'll have to make a parachute out of your web."

"Take him into space," Strange added under his breath, "let him join the spiders that snuck aboard the ISS."

"Oh my god, you have a sense of humor." Tony gasped, looking at Doctor Strange in shock, "And here I was thinking your cape was the fun one."

The cape's collar fluttered, almost bashfully waving at Tony.

"I like that cape," Tony nodded, "High quality, the inside looks a bit like a couch from a nursing home, but has a charming personality. I'd take you for walks on the beach, I'm a Gemini, what's your sign?"

"Stop." Doctor Strange retorted without pausing to think.

"Oh snap," Peter whistled, "You got shut down fast. That's what you get for flirting with a sentient cape."

Tony sniffed, looking away and crossing his arm, "I take it back, Thor's cape is _much nicer_."

"Oh for God's sake," Strange exhaled tiredly, "Can we proceed so I can kick you three out of my house already?"

"Tired of us already?" Tony pouted, "I thought we could be bros. Not science bros, that'd be and Brucey. We could snuggle on a couch and make fun of Star Trek, or we could crash a university and make the students cry with our brainpower, _no,"_ Tony gasped, looking off into the distance with the spark of genius, "We can be _awesome facial hair bros."_

Strange blinked, slowly set his head in his hands and moaned quietly.

* * *

"Astral Projection takes place in a single field I will localize to this immediate area. Due to that, you'll be unable to advance further than this room." Strange instructed, moving between both Peter and Tony to stand equal distance apart, "Both of you will be expelled- your bodies will drop to the floor and remain there until you return to your own bodies."

"This is so cool," Peter sighed, looking dreamily off into space, "Will my webs still work?"

"It's entirely plausible, if they're a part of your soul." Doctor Strange responded, carefully drawing his shaking hands in front of him in an unrecognizable stance, "Once exiting make your way behind Mr. Loki. I'll expel his projection and exit my own body."

"Right, will he be awake or asleep?" Tony asked, peering at the still unconscious man, now freed of the cocoon but bound in apparently magic canceling shackles.

"The moment I retrieved him I placed him under a minor trance," Strange explained calmly, "Once released from his physical body, the trance should hold no purchase so he should awaken."

"Alright, so we get to console Loki as a ghost." Peter nodded eagerly, "This is one of the weirdest days of my life."

"It's about to get weirder." Tony gleefully explained, "Beam us up, Scotty."

Strange sighed but with a fluid movement that looked vaguely like martial arts, he smacked firmly into each male's sternum.

Peter felt a dazzling rush, his spider senses tingling like electricity as he tumbled backwards, weightless yet somehow weighing something at the same time.

He watched as his own _body_ (his face _was_ more babyish in person, whadya know) drop to the ground like he was knocked out cold.

"Whoa," Peter breathed, not actually feeling the biological need to breathe as he lazily drifted in a backwards flip, "This is some inception stuff right here."

"Oh isn't it cool?" Tony cackled, performing tight spins a couple feet higher than Peter, stretching out languidly like a cat, "best Acid trip, _ever."_

" _I'm assuming you're in position,"_ Strange's voice echoed oddly, muffled and echoing like they were surrounded by dozens of panels of glass, _"I'll expel him in three seconds."_

Tony whooshed forward with arms outstretched like Thor, somehow stopping his acceleration a safe distance of six feet behind the slumped figure. Peter desperately doggy paddled through the air, drifting like a kite to his location.

His spider senses finally calmed, twitching now and then like a live spark. His senses were somehow sharper, his eyesight _clearer_ and sounds were more precise even through the disorienting echo.

Strange pulled back a shaking hand, closing his eyes in concentration before thwacking his hand to Loki's chest.

Simultaneously, Strange rose from his physical body like a biblical angel, absent of the cloak but dramatically nonetheless.

Peter's spider senses shrieked warning, giving him time to kick Stark away and twirl out of the sudden explosion of something vile and thrashing.

"Cthulhu!" Tony shouted in surprise, raising his arms to protect his face as a blackish dripping tentacle thrashed from Loki's back, "Why does _Cthulhu exist too?"_

Peter looked at his wrists, noticing the absence of his slingers. His spider sense shrieked, allowing him to jerk an arm up to prevent another tentacle from knocking him flying.

"It's sticky," Peter groaned, seeing the black sludge stick to his arm even in a projection, " _why_ is this sticky?"

"I-" Doctor Strange's eyes were wide in stunned disbelief and confusion, "I don't-"

More sprouted, waving and dripping something vile and stank of illness to Peter's nose.

Strange came close, somehow lifting his arm and with the flash of something bright orange, fended off a black tentacle which sizzled at the touch. It pulsed sickly blue temporarily, recoiling away from the touch.

"This isn't right," Doctor Strange spoke, his voice low and cautious, "An astral projection should not be impaired or unable to leave the body, even through alternate means."

"So what- this thing is a trap?"

"A cage," Tony realized, his eyes going sharp, "If he can use magic- which we _know_ he can, he could do this projection thing, right?"

Strange gave a curt nod, his lip curling in disgust for thrashing limbs, "This is sick, a perverted use for the arcane arts."

Peter focused, squinting with his _somehow_ strengthened eyesight. The blue, quickly being swallowed by the ink-like tar was a familiar color.

"It's like that uh, that staff thing. I think." Peter added, looking sheepishly at Tony, "My TV isn't that good so maybe it's not the right color, but it looks pretty close."

Tony looked puzzled before he understood, "Loki's Staff of Doom? Ay, Mumbo tap that."

Strange sighed but recoiled his hands, twisting two fingers to make an honest to god _whip_ of sizzling orange sparks. Peter wasn't sure how Tony managed to resist saying another innuendo.

The tar sizzled away, revealing pulsing bright blue veins which looked too wrong and unnatural even in the astral dimension.

Strange's face paled, as if he had realized something horrifying at the sight.

"Oh, it's an infinity stone." Strange stumbled backwards, hovering with a wobble, "This- I am afraid that this is beyond my abilities."

"What?" Tony gawked, "But you- you just sizzled those things!"

"I fear the tar is not the cage itself, but Loki's attempts to break free. The weakening of his spirit itself." Doctor Strange tried to explain, "the slough of a wound."

"So what if this is an infinity gem," Peter started with wide eyes, "This- if it's _that bad,_ don't you think that you should help him? He's _suffering."_

Strange looked torn, before looking at Loki again critically, "I experienced an accident before- extreme levels of voltage send a current of power through the astral projections. It may be possible that in the brief moment, the cage may dispel enough to contact Loki."

"How extreme are we talking about?" Tony blinked, "I have my suit- well I can send it over. A concentrated repulsor blast- or I could open a wire connector and zap him." Tony offered.

"I experienced one thousand volts of electricity directly to my chest, it was enough power to destroy the essence of another astral projection." Strange explained, "Similar levels of power may damage the cage."

"One _thousand?"_ Peter blinked, "Alright, this is not my area. I am resigning from my post of science nerd."

"Don't worry, this is right up _mine."_ Tony grinned, "You may not know this, but I am an _expert_ at having ridiculous amounts of energy in my chest."

"Get out." Peter deadpanned, "Get out right now. You're no longer welcome."

Tony cackled diving back into his physically knocked out body.

It was strange to see Tony stir, groaning and wincing at where his head had hit the floor. He glared in the general vicinity of the two spirits, before walking out of the room assumedly to call the suit.

"Alright," Doctor Strange paused, breaking the tension, " _How_ do those webs work. That biological material is _impossible_."

* * *

Tony skipped into the room lugging his suit, folded neatly into a gaudy briefcase. Humming an obnoxiously out of tune cover of some pop song, (Strange actually briefly smiled, humming along at the main verse), Tony fiddled with wires before he pulled out a collection of insulated copper cords and unfurled the ends carefully.

Tony fumbled with Loki's armor, removing the metal alloys that protected his chest from damage. Once that was removed and set down a safe distance away, Tony carefully pressed the two open wires on the proper location for defibrillation.

" _Is this good? I'm calling this good."_ Tony spoke, voice echoing through the dimensional gap, _"Alright Jarvis, let's make Aurora Borealis."_

"Stand back, I'll try and open the fissure as long as possible." Strange advised, twirling two fingers to summon golden sparks which twisted between his fingers, "I'm not entirely sure what will happen."

"Neither do I, Doc." Peter hummed, but lowered himself ready to propel forward.

 _"Clear!"_

The electricity sparked through the astral dimension, sending bright yellow light arcing down and across the tentacles.

They spasmed, but failed to split or make any more damage.

"Not enough," Strange grimaced, shattering the air like a geode and _reaching through._

 _"More, increase the voltage by twice."_ Strange spoke, his waist splitting the walls of reality and existence.

 _"Oh my god you're horrifying,"_ Tony jolted, jaw dropping, _"I'll hire you for the official Avenger's haunted house. You can make children cry with your face instead of needles."_

 _"Just increase the voltage."_ Strange snapped, sliding back into the astral plane, "How do you function living with that man?"

"What? Oh no," Peter blinked, "Nah, he picked me up to catch Loki. I never met him before this, I'm hoping he'll buy me dinner after this though."

Strange looked surprised, "You aren't employed by Stark Industries? What do you do?"

"Take photos of myself for the Bugle." Peter smiled sneakily, "It's kind of fun, makes me feel like a supermodel."

Strange was looking more alarmed by the second, "Your main source of income is from a discredited opinionated newspaper? In the age of technology?"

Peter shrugged, "It helps pay the bills- well, me and my Aunt May are going to probably have to move- Forest Hills is a bit too pricy." Peter explained, "Maybe East Flatbush?"

Doctor Strange choked and had a strange expression, "With the time it takes to get into the city through the tunnels?"

"Oh!" Peter blinked looking sheepish, "No- well I just take the bus, cars are expensive you know?"

Doctor Strange exhaled slowly through his nose, looking like he was going to argue if not for Tony loudly declaring he was ready to go.

The electricity was instantly different, Strange noticed immediately.

The tentacles arced, splitting and cracking away- Strange's own magic cracked them further, revealing the inner workings of the putrid cage.

Peter wriggled by, using his spider senses to avoid the limbs thrashing to keep him at bay- his eyes adjusted quickly as he peered in.

"Hi!" Peter chirped, seeing glazed green eyes with undisguised shock and confusion, "Look- I don't _think_ I can get you out but I just want to stop by and say hello, show you the neighborhood, wonderful place you have here." Peter noticed, seeing the blackish tar starting from the various wounds along Loki's astral form, "could do with a bit of fixing up."

 _"You?"_ Loki asked, voice sounding awfully small and trying to restrain the sound of hope being too loud, "How-"

"Look, Loki," Peter spoke, voice lowering to a soothing tone as all joking left, "We _know_ about the stone-"

Loki froze, his entire face stiffening with the expression of a deer ready to bolt.

"-and we're going to help you," Peter swallowed, finding the entire atmosphere quite sad, "We're going to get you out of this, Loki."

Loki shook his head and laughed, the sound guttural and empty and something heartbreaking, "You can't," He grinned, all teeth and dead eyes "You _can't."_

"Let us try," Peter urged, feeling like time was running short, "This stone thing, is it here? Or is it nearby."

"No," Loki spoke, voice clipped and cold, "It's gone I know naught were. The…" Loki's lip curled, "It's _brand_ is what tethers me so."

"So it's localized?" Peter tried, "Okay- okay and do you know which stone it is? I mean, the tesseract but like, Doc said there's different types-"

"Cease your mutterings," Loki glared, yet gave a full body flinch and minor groan, "Your time is drawing short."

"We'll fix this," Peter determinedly stated, "You're not going to be alone."

Loki barked a laugh, "Oh child, I am _always_ alone."

Peter shook his head, "Not anymore, we're going to fix this and we'll clear everything up."

Loki had a calculating expression, "It is the stone of power," He blinked slowly and tiredly, "It is tied to my Aether."

Peter smiled, but then yelped as something warm snatched his ankle and tore him free from the small gap.

Strange was winded, moving his arms determined and smoothly to recover Peter from the recuperated thrashing cage. The hole sealed itself in seconds, leaving no mark that they had damaged it.

"Are you alright?" Strange asked, sounding slightly winded as Loki's astral form seemed to have enough with their meddling. It sunk inwards to Loki's physical form, vanishing from the plane.

Peter smiled and dove back into his own body. He was soon intimately aware of how the back of his head pounded.

"Back to the land of the living!" Tony cheered, jumping to his feet to offer a hand for Peter, "Hurts doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Peter winced, poking the small lump, "But it worked- the electricity thing."

"Really?" Tony asked in surprise, curiosity thoroughly spiked, "What happened?"

"I'm curious as to that, myself." Strange grumbled, shaking his head once as he adjusted to his own body again, "Were you able to establish contact?"

"Yeah," Peter sagged, "He's not looking so great. He says the stone isn't here, it's just the imprint."

Strange exhaled, murmuring something of relief under his breath, "Did he happen to say exactly which stone we're dealing with?"

"Yeah uh, a Power Stone?" Peter asked, his voice rising at the end.

"Oh boy this is getting into Pokémon territory, is Reindeer games going to evolve next?" Tony snorted, and was ignored by the others.

"This is good," Strange nodded, appearing deep in thought, "Did he say what the anchor was? Infinity stones require a purchase to exist outside of pure energy.

"Aether? If you know what that is?"

"I don't, but the Book of Cagliostro may." Strange smiled softly, glancing at Loki with something of a challenge in his eye, "We're going to Kamar-Taj."


	4. Chapter 4

**There will be 1 more chapter after this one.**

 **I know I updated yesterday, but I'd rather get this entire story finished now then to give you all such a horrid delay like before.**

 **Please keep in mind that all of the magic or the science behind it is completely made up (I tried to make it as logical as possible).**

 **Please review, I love hearing from all of you and I take each of your criticisms or praises to heart.**

* * *

The three stumbled through the swirling orange portal, Peter from the sheer disorientation and Tony from the unexpected weight of the Norse God.

Strange walked through like a celebrity and that flat out wasn't fair.

As soon as they exited, people glanced up. They quickly displayed expressions of bafflement as well as the common bashfulness that came from being near heroes.

They all wore strange robes that looked like something you'd wear after a shower, but Peter wasn't going to say that aloud.

"Where-" Tony blinked, raising the visor of his suit to glance around in shock.

"Careful," Strange warned dryly, "You'll catch flies."

"That's Petey's job." Tony sniped out, sniffing in disdain as he hiked the unconscious god further over his shoulder.

Mumbles spread through the crowd, the rising sound of _'Iron Man?'_ drifted in and around the ornate pillars- looking as if they had been recently repaired for some reason.

"This way," Strange beckoned, "We'll head to the private training quarters before I go search for Wong."

"Wong?" Tony gawked, "You mean-"

Peter sharply elbowed him, only to grunt in pain as his fleshy elbow was considerably weaker than Tony's suit, "Don't be rude!" Peter hissed under his breath with a meaningful glare.

Tony's jaw clicked shut as he realized how close he had come to being _pretty_ insensitive.

Strange sighed through his nose, rubbing the shaking fingers of one hand against his temple. The Cloak he wore pat his neck reassuringly.

He guided them through the halls of what looked like an old Tibetan monastery mixed with an English castle. Display cases housed an assortment of modern marvels as well as rusty knives and one strange looking axe that still had dried blood on it.

They filed into a larger room, similar in style and size to the one back in New York. It had more chairs, more burn marks and damage to the walls, but also appeared more used and homely from the state of the well-worn rugs and freshly cut flowers.

"We may leave him here; nobody will infringe on a room I've taken." Strange permitted, beckoning at the ground where Tony proceeded to drop Loki with a loud _crack!_

Peter winced and Tony's eyes widened at the sound; the two looked at Strange who looked as if he was babysitting infants.

As if to undermine Strange's assurances, the doors flung open and a stocky man walked in with firm steps, his clothing rippling with the movements.

Strange turned at the sound, looking for the intruder. Once he spotted the man, a smile broke over his face and he took a few steps in the direction, offering a hand which the other man took firmly.

"Wong," Strange greeted, voice light and friendly, "I was just about to search for you."

"Wherever trouble is, I find you," The man grumbled, "Should I be concerned that you have returned?"

Strange shrugged his shoulders before looking off upwards, "Well," Strange started, a smile toying on the corners of his mouth, "Would you expect anything less of me?"

Wong sighed, although the expression wasn't one of disdain, "What problems have you conjured from your misuse of the Mystic Arts?"

Strange scowled and crossed his arms, "I only got caught doing that _one_ time."

"I dread to hear how you became mixed with this man," Wong confided, addressing Peter and Tony for the first time, "Trouble follows him like that cloak."

Tony snorted, causing Peter to snicker wildly.

"Who is this?" Wong asked, walking around Strange once he caught sight of the body lying on the floor. He froze instantly, peering in blatant disbelief before he slowly rotated to look at Strange.

"It wasn't me," Strange defended, " _They_ captured him and bound him in a cocoon and left him in a storage unit."

"Actually that was me," Peter smiled, giving a tiny wave, "Well, the cocoon part at least."

Wong blinked slowly, exhaled and inhaled rhythmically like Bruce in one of his soothing relaxation techniques, and then addressed Strange firmly.

"You should not have brought the Trickster here," Wong argued firmly, "His magic is unlike ours, and will only result in ruin. If word of his capture spreads, you threaten war across the mystic planes."

"Mystic planes," Tony sighed, "Do they offer you magic beans instead of peanuts?"

"This is no laughing matter, Mr. Stark." Wong growled, pointing threateningly, "You have no idea the magnitude of this disaster."

"Actually," Strange sighed, "It's worse."

" _How,"_ Wong muttered, "could it _possibly_ be worse?"

"He has influence of an Infinity Stone, a being is commanding it and from what I've assumed, has been since the New York Invasion." Strange informed, causing Wong to startle.

"An _Infinity Stone?"_ Wong shook his head ever so slightly, "Are you certain?"

"He can't be expelled into the Astral plane." Strange grimaced, "The Power Stone is binding his soul somehow-"

"Seidr." Wong interrupted, "The mages and sorcerers outside our realm use the essence of reality and feed from it, drawing it into their body to use as Seidr."

"Like a tree?" Peter asked, tilting his head interestedly, "They can absorb this stuff like a tree absorbs nutrients."

Wong frowned slightly, "They use the existing powers all around them, absorbing it and expelling it through channels."

"Imagine breathing," Strange clarified, working as the broker between magic and science, "They are able to fully utilize the components already freely existing, and metabolizes it as an energy source."

"Loki mentioned something called Aether," Peter offered, "We didn't recognize the name."

"Aether? Are you certain?" Wong looked troubled, "I have to search further to be certain, although Aether as I know it is a chaotic force of power, too strong and dangerous even for the Ancient One."

"Ancient One?" Tony blinked, "Am I in a ninja movie."

Peter smacked him through the suit, only managing to hurt his hand.

"This is no laughing matter, Stark." Wong gravely spoke, "Aether is destruction in itself, it is said it is able to bend the laws of reality to what it deems useful."

"From what I've gathered," Tony argued, "You all can break laws of physics just fine as it is."

Peter hummed, "he has a point."

Strange was thinking quickly, trying to determine or make sense of the information, "This, this Aether. Is it related to an Infinity Stone?"

"I am not certain," Wong admitted, "You believe we may be at odds with two stones? Not just one?"

"Loki said that the Power Stone wasn't actually here," Peter offered, "He said that it was just a tether."

"A lingering mark is easier to wipe clean," Wong nodded, "I must search the tomes."

"I'll help," Strange offered, "Stark, stay here. The library will just give you an aneurism, surprisingly I can't actually remedy that if it happens anymore."

Peter floundered, not prepared for the morbid turn the conversation had twisted.

"Don't worry about that," Tony dismissed, a sharp edge of morbid humor glinting back, "You turned me down years ago anyways."

Strange gave a single blurt of laughter, somehow finding the exchange amusing to him. Peter and Wong didn't know how to react, although something certainly had just blossomed between the two genius'.

"We'll be back," Strange assured, "Perhaps you should meditate to kill the time."

Tony looked at Peter, "I have Sudoku in the suit."

"Give it here," Peter bluntly demanded, "I'll beat your time record."

Tony scoffed, "Try it, kid."

* * *

Strange and Wong returned shortly after, looking grim and carrying a stack of books adorned with gaudy chains.

"Find anything?" Peter asked, jumping to his feet. Tony was motionless, playing the Sudoku inside the helmet in an effort to beat Peter's high score.

"Unfortunately," Wong grunted, setting the books on a nearby table heavily.

Peter nudged Tony, getting the older man to look outwards into the room blearily, "Doctor! Ninja!" He cried enthusiastically, "You've returned from Hogwarts!"

"Ignore him," Peter added, "What did you find?"

"The Aether," Strange started with a huff, "resembles an Infinity Stone _remarkably well."_

"So we're dealing with two?" Peter asked hesitantly, "And... that's bad?"

"Very." Wong grumbled, "Stones are chaotic and desire to bind to one another. Removing the influence of the Power Stone is impossible in the presence of the Aether. Fortunately, they appear to be only impressions left behind."

Strange moved away from the ground, standing above Loki. He twisted his hands, forming complex geometric shapes that resembled a Mandela before it branched into uniform lines and patterns, twisting three dimensional outwards.

"Whoa," Tony breathed, eyes lighting up in glee, "That's like the holograms I use for my schematics."

"These are the 'schematics' of reality," Strange explained, pulling back two fingers to pluck out four of the burning lines, "When arranged in a specific way-"

He let go and the lined thrummed, vibrating like a guitar as they pulsed over the air of Loki, shifting and arranging with the quickly overwhelming sear of crimson red and nauseating blue.

"The Power Stone," Peter breathed, pointing at the blue cloud suspended between the burning wires of orange, "And the red-"

"The Aether," Wong spoke, glancing at the map critically, "Remarkably well contained, almost caged within his Seidr."

"Caged?" Tony blinked, "Wait- let's assume that these stones are charges- would it be possible for one stone to be manipulated accordingly to remove the influence of the other? Negate one charge to negate the other?"

Wong scoffed, "This is not electricity, Stark. For being a genius you know so li-"

"No," Strange blinked, raising a hand in thought, "He's _right._ The Power stone if put in place would not be arranged in such a way to cage his astral projection. The Aether, he stated that the stone was bonded to his Aether."

"Remove the Aether, the Power stone goes with it?" Peter offered, "Is that how this works?"

Strange took a step back, glancing at Wong with an expression Tony displayed in his moments of madness, "Wong, the Eye can draw it out."

Wong paled and looked at Loki unsure.

"Wait wait, let's say that we manage to draw out this mineral compound _whatever,"_ Tony argued, "Where would it go? In us? Would we all die?"

Wong frowned, "There- there are tomes with description for the Eye's construction, careful mixtures of alchemy and metallurgy-"

"World's best engineer at your service," Tony drawled, "Well actually you're at mine since I came to you first-"

"Even then it would take time, days to memorize the critical steps in the construction," Wong argued.

Strange sighed, "Wong, Eidetic memory."

Peter laughed at the expression of hopelessness on Wong's face.

* * *

The building of the shells _would_ have taken a long time, days or weeks to gather the materials, longer to have them shipped in. Then the time to set up the tools not to mention pausing for wards and spells to be placed on it.

The book of instructions (in Latin which Doctor Strange almost fluently spoke) hadn't anticipated the combined willpower of two geniuses' and Peter's inhuman ability to be completely motionless and steady hands.

The first casing was built after nine hours of work, which technically meant it was well into the following day and Aunt May was going to _kill_ Peter when he got home.

When the second casing was almost halfway complete, Peter was thoroughly dragging from exhaustion. The couches in Tony Stark's lab were _way_ too comfy for just sitting. Peter had a feeling Mr. Stark's assistant-CEO- _something_ had done that on purpose.

Peter woke up to over six dirty mugs stacked up in the sink, and two impressive eye bags under the genius' eyes who were _still_ working.

Peter didn't know how they did it.

* * *

The second container was completed by two pm the next day, ending the exhaustingly long night with all three of them passed out on the too cozy couches. They only barely managed to slip away when JARVIS alerted them that someone was descending the steps into the lab. Strange's impossible ability to make portals like a videogame, was seriously handy.

(Tony made a joke about that to Strange's face. Strange managed to push him out to stand on the top of Mt. Everest for just over twenty seconds before he pulled him back in.)

Loki had been adjusted and his armor removed. He was still unconscious, although this time he was laying with his head on a pillow, looking strangely at peace despite the translucent quality of his skin.

"We ready to do this?" Tony asked, armed in the suit and holding the containers just to be safe. Peter was a safe distance away, behind Wong who was holding a strange weapon.

What did they honestly expect would happen? A little imp would jump out of Loki's chest like a strange Alien movie?

"Don't touch it," Strange warned, before he looked at the amulet around his throat shakily, and performed a movement in front of it with the ease of someone who had done it a million times.

The eye unfurled, opening to display a bright piercing light through its iris, staring at Loki's laying body with fervent attention.

The eye glowed brighter, Strange's own two eyes growing foggy as he closed them slowly. A golden eye opened on his forehead, burning with fiery energy.

"The eye of Agamotto will show the truth," He rumbled, voice deeper and almost gravel.

Loki's skin flushed, almost as if blushing. Under the skin of his throat and neck a dark red was glowing under the surface, swishing and pulsing with swatches of toxic cyan like a mutant infection.

Strange inhaled sharply, eyes still closed as his voice dropped lower, "Loki, break the tethers."

Tony looked warily at Strange, then back at the unconscious body.

"Can he talk to Loki?" Peter whispered to Wong, "Is Loki talking back?"

"Hush," Wong whispered, tensing further as Strange gave a full body shudder, tilting his head and raising his hands, crossed at the forearms.

It looked like an invisible knife gouged across Loki's throat in a clean swift blow. Instead of blood and other repulsive organs, something red and blue bled out of the wound like molten metal, pulsing and twisting near the edges.

Strange gasped, forcing his eyes open as he twisted his hands, forming the singing ropes to try and prevent the liquid from escaping in a gaseous form.

"The containers," Strange grunted, voice hoarse from how low it had just gone, " _Now,_ Stark."

Tony cracked open the one, the enchantments on the inside of the sphere activated with yellow light, drawing the liquid up and in like a video in reverse.

Strange cracked the other sphere open, drawing the blue gel away from the red into its own container. There was a significant more amount of it than red.

Tony forced the ball closed where it sealed with a flare of purple- locking shut so there was no ending or beginning. Strange followed suit, dropping the ball as it scolded his hands and burned them raw.

"Did it work?" Peter anxiously asked, peering around Wong who lowered his guard, "Is it over?"

Tony dropped the ball as well, letting it roll over to the edge of the room. Relief hung heavy on his shoulders, allowing him to pop the faceplate of his armor up and exchange meaningful looks with Strange.

"Yeah kid," Tony grunted, clearing his throat from where it had gummed up in his worry, "I think it's ov-"

Loki bolted from the ground, curling inwards and smashing his fingers into the floor. The wooden boards crunched, puncturing small holes clean through.

The look in Loki's eyes was savage as he hissed- he _hissed,_ like a _snake!_ With one hand, fingers powdered in sawdust, he swiped it across in front of him sending a thin razor pulse of something dark green.

Strange twisted, conjuring what looked like orange fans but deflected the dark green with minor sparks.

Loki scrambled backwards, shaking his head while his body shook from full body tremors. He turned, pausing in one stiff moment before he retched all over the ancient floor.

"Loki!" Peter yelped, jumping over Wong, using his shoulders as a springboard. Peter landed in a crouch, holding his hands up non threateningly, "Loki! It's okay!"

Loki shook, eyes wide and glazed as he frantically searched around the room. His hands were clenching randomly, as if trying to quell some sort of urge.

"Loki, hey, hey look at me." Peter offered, quieting his voice as he shuffled forward carefully across the floor. Skittering like the bug that he was. "Hey, hey buddy look at me."

Loki didn't, obviously he was in shock over what had just happened.

"Peter," Strange's voice was low, warning. Tony had his faceplate up and was barely resisting the urge to blast the Norse God with all the ammunition he had.

"I got this," Peter urged, shuffling forward across the ground once again, "Loki, I know you're probably freaking out, I'd be freaking out too," Peter confessed with a small awkward laugh, "But it's all okay now. You're okay, you're out. You're not alone now," Peter slowly reached out and with two fingers rested them on Loki's nearby calf, "You're not alone," Peter assured soothingly.

The fogginess cleared slightly, eyes focusing on Peter. Loki's eyes were a deep glowing green, the same color as a tree snake Peter had seen on a nature show a few weeks back.

"Hey," Peter waved, giving a toothy grin, "I told you we'd get you out."

Loki blinked, sanity returning from his hysteria, "It's gone," he croaked, voice low from being unconscious for over a day, "It's _gone,"_

Peter grinned, "No more Aether or that stone thing, we got it out." Peter agreed.

"How- _how-"_ Loki started, shaking as if in denial.

Loki's eyes focused behind Peter, looking at both Tony and Strange. Peter could imagine how imposing those two looked, being decked out in the armor and a curtain from renaissance Europe.

"Hello, Loki." Strange nodded, taking a few steps forward although still staying a considerable distance away from the two, "My name is Doctor Stephen Strange, I am the protector of the New York Sanctum Sanctorum. You are currently located in Kamar-Taj." Strange rattled off in a pure professional tone Peter subconsciously connected to his own medical doctor.

Loki shifted, unfurling slightly from his incredibly defensive posture into something with the barest skeleton of regality. His sharp jaw rose as he lifted his nose in disdain, despite being on the ground below everyone else.

"I care not _where_ , petty _human,"_ Loki taunted, his voice lacking the bite Peter had heard over the shaky camera footage of the New York invasion. "You simple minded-"

Strange offered a restrained smile, crossing his arms behind his back. The cape fluttered out of the way, avoiding being pinched to his back.

Loki spotted the movement that defied the laws of gravity, his brows furrowed for a fraction of a second before his face smoothed into something veiled,

With a loud automated click, Tony's faceplate rose and the armor disassembled. If Peter wasn't in such a compromising position, he may have paused to gawk at the example of mechanical and engineering _genius._ Instead he was stuck with two fingers touching Loki's leg like an elementary school show and tell.

 _'Pet the dog with two fingers,'_ Peter thought, and it took all of his willpower to not burst out laughing at that moment.

"Hey Reindeer games," Tony waved casually, walking away to a nearby table where a decorative tea set was set out for the group, "Long time no see. Well for you, because I was lugging your unconscious body all over the world."

Loki tensed and Tony poured himself a small teacup of dark amber liquid. He picked it up daintily, sniffing once before taking a sip. With exaggerated movements he gagged, hurriedly putting the cup back down.

"God, this stuff is disgusting." Tony grimaced, pointing at Wong accusingly, "Tell your people to make better tea. Or better yet, get a coffee maker in here. A K-cup would really spice this place up, get that hipster coffee shop feel going."

"I think Tea is supposed to be soothing, not caffeinating." Peter spoke, not as loudly as the billionaire but loud enough to be heard.

"Wait," Tony gasped in horror, "That was _decaf?"_

"Wong," Strange spoke, pausing as he considered his words, "We _should_ get a coffee maker."

"I have one hidden in my office." Wong admitted, looking annoyed at everyone's expressions of disbelief, "We're not uncivilized!"

Loki took this moment to try and stand, drawing his leg away from Peter's hand as if he hadn't ever noticed it was there. Loki slid backwards, subtly bracing his back against the wall as he stood up slowly- his eyes became clouded in the telltale sign of lightheadedness.

"Whoa there," Peter worried, offering an arm that Loki promptly ignored, "No, seriously you should probably slow down there."

"Maybe he has a concussion from when I dropped him?" Tony offered weakly.

"I am _not_ wounded by your _Midgardian_ ailments-" Loki seethed, looking rather pale while standing.

"No, but I assume your cells are struggling to regenerate considering that the Aether was fueling your Seidr." Strange casually mentioned, looking critically at Loki from head to foot, "With an Infinity Stone being used internally, you were severely damaging your own ability to utilize the freely existing."

Loki blinked in surprise, before it shifted into intense suspicion," You are remarkably well informed for a mortal."

Strange's expression was flat, "Dormammu spoke pleasantly of you."

Wong gaped and actually _flinched_ at the name. Peter didn't recognize it, neither did Tony.

Loki did, because suddenly he seemed much more interested in the Sorcerer.

"You speak of beings you know naught of," He sniffed, "Of which script did you hear such a title."

Strange's lips thinned as he smiled coldly, "A few. He's more intimidating in person."

Loki laughed, a curt cold sound that offered no comfort, "Oh, your pathetic jests-"

"I am the Sorcerer Supreme, a Master of the Mystic Arts. I have warded this planet from threats beyond the level of perception and reality itself," Strange announced boldly, arching one eyebrow in a way Peter was almost swooning for his cheekbones, "I don't _jest."_

Loki stared, as if he wasn't sure what to do.

"Come on fellas," Tony sighed, beckoning to each of them, "Yes yes, you two have _so_ much in common. You can both shoot sparks and break science, but can we get a thanks because we sort of just saved your Ass."

Loki scowled and looked at Peter barely interested, "You were able to communicate with me while unconscious?"

"Astral projection," Peter shrugged, "Doctor Strange figured out that something was wrong when he couldn't eject you."

Loki nodded shortly, still unsure of the situation, "I find myself interested in how you mortals have found a way to consume Seidr."

"We don't use it like you," Strange explained confidently, "You're able to grasp it around you. We bend energy from realities around us, through the webbing and rearrange-"

"You're an Eldritch Mage?" Loki interrupted, eyes burning green like a chemical fire.

Strange paused, "Perhaps that is the term for it, to be honest I'm quite curious about your own magic. How you utilize it- do you redirect it as it exists outside your body or manipulate it from inside your being?"

Loki looked taken aback, and positively _thrilled._

"Oh, you _do_ know of what you speak," He nearly cackled, fingers twitching microscopically, "How _fascinating."_

"Okay okay, uh, this is fun and all," Peter awkwardly stated, jerking his hands quickly to trigger his web slingers to snatch onto the two metal balls, each the size of grapefruits, "But what are we doing with these stones?"

Loki took a step forward, ignoring the cries against the searing heat each ball radiated. The long pale fingers plucked one orb from Peter's web, turning it thoughtfully in his hand even as his skin flushed pink.

"You entrapped the imprint within a runestone," Loki noted, flexing his hand to observe the golden web of lines that was melted into the flawless circle, "This is excellent warding."

"Thank you," Strange noted with a small nod, "I couldn't help but notice the entrapments you placed around your Seidr, with the Aether. It was beautifully done."

Loki glanced away quickly, picking at impossible flaws on the surface of the runestone.

"Strange," Wong spoke suddenly, his face hiding concern intermingled with outrage, "It seems you need to explain a few things, _after."_

Strange winced, trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone.

"So!" Tony chirped, poking at the tea set once again, "who was in charge of the invasion if you were under a rock's influence?"

"Huh," Peter blinked, "That's actually a good question."

"Well _obviously_ it is," Tony deadpanned, "Speaking of which, where were you when all this happened, Merlin? Stuck in Narnia?"

Strange sighed, "I had a few other things to deal with, Stark."

"Other things? What could be first compared to an _alien invasion?"_

"For starters, ignoring _you."_

Tony pouted.

"Our Sorcerer Supreme had not yet learned of his abilities," Wong informed the room smugly, as if knowing how new Stephan was would change something.

"No way, you're a _newbie?"_ Tony laughed, collapsing back on his chair, "Oh man, please tell me there's pictures of you in those Jedi padawan robes."

"I'll have you know they were very stylish."

"Oh yeah, like your beard- oh _wait-"_

Loki stepped forward, his movements graceful although his joints were jerky. It was an oxymoron if Peter had ever seen a living breathing one before.

"You've encountered Dormammu, despite having mastered as a wielder in such a short time?" Loki's eyes were chips of emerald.

"No," Strange informed, revealing his hands which shook as badly as Parkinson's, "I only began learning about magic a year ago."

Loki paused, tilted his head blankly and stared at Strange as if he was a creature that existed against all laws of nature.

"Why you looking at our Jackalope?" Tony quipped, causing Peter to gape.

"No way!" Peter hissed, "I was thinking of a thing like that too?"

"Why is he looking funny?"

"No! The Jackalope!"

"Oh my god," Tony exhaled, "It's like a mini me. I like you, can I keep you? Haven't we had this conversation before?"

"You know," Peter paused, noticing how Loki and Strange seemed to be having a silent conversation, "I can't really remember. All of this has been a weird blur."

* * *

"His name, is the Mad Titan." Loki paused, gazing purposefully at a wall and not meeting anyone's eyes, "He courts Death and tends to her whims with whispers of the dead."

Strange frowned, placing one fist near his mouth in thought, "And this being possesses the Power Stone?"

"Yes," Loki bluntly stated, "He gathers them with intent of destroying all that has existed."

"Oh," Tony blinked in surprise, "That's not good."

Peter huffed, "Yeah, no shit Sherlock."

Tony and Strange's heads snapped around and stared at Peter with the oddest of expressions.

"This Titan," Wong spoke, hand flat on the table between everyone, "He has his eyes on Earth?"

"The destruction of his army has drawn Midgard to his eye," Loki's lip curled in glee, "The destruction was _devastating."_

"Good to hear that wasn't a waste," Tony smiled thinly, tapping the table quietly in thought.

"So, this guy, is there a name that they could look for in the library?" Peter asked hopefully, "I hear the library is impressive."

"Thanos," Loki spoke, tensing as if in preparation for being hit. After a second he relaxed, as if unused to it, "His name is Thanos."

The word sounded strange in Loki's mouth, as if his tongue fumbled to pronounce it properly.

"We can look," Wong offered, "The library has a collection of books, some in languages we don't speak."

"I can take you," Strange offered Loki, "To the library. I have a feeling you'd enjoy it."

Loki blinked three times quickly, then gave a lazy nod as if the visit would be beneath him.

"How long do we have?" Peter asked quietly, "Until this Thanos guy gets here. Weeks? Months?"

"Years," Loki rolled his eyes, "Which is a _blink_ in my own-"

"No no, years is good." Tony soothed, "We humans can get a _lot_ done in a couple years."

"He's right," Wong nodded, "With preparation we can ally and provide a significant help."

"And the X-men!" Peter smiled, looking excited, "Those guys have been chasing me for a bit, we could totally get them in on this."

Loki looked skeptic, "Thanos is persuasive, he may ally those beyond your comprehension-"

"Dormammu and I have bargained," Strange spoke solemnly, "He has agreed to leave and _never_ return or threaten this planet."

Loki looked shocked, "You- you _bargained?"_

"It took many lifetimes," Strange smiled, although it was strained, "He spoke that you are formidable, as a threat or as an ally."

Loki didn't react to the information.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Tony muttered under his breath before clearing his throat and speaking louder, "Assuming that all of this Thanos crap isn't _just_ crap, we could really use you on our side, Lok's."

Loki glanced at Tony with an expression of _'Are you kidding me?'_

"Yeah," Peter smiled sheepishly, "I could show you around New York when you know, you aren't wanted by the whole planet for attacking us with aliens."

"Why would I bother myself with the simple minded requests of mortals-"

"If you wouldn't mind," Strange interrupted politely with a genuine smile, "I'd love to see how Seidr is different from my own- Eldritch, as you called it?"

Loki paused, "Eldritch is the harvesting of energy external of the veil-"

"And Seidr is using gathered radiation inside of you," Strange's mind was spinning so fast Peter could almost hear it, "Is it possible to combine both types to harvest energy from an unlimited access point?"

"Strange," Wong sighed, standing and gathering his things, "I will be within the library if you need me."

Doctor Strange nodded, not even looking in his direction.

"It is _possible,"_ Loki started slowly, "those of Alfheim did not share the secrets of Eldritch willingly-"

"I'll share," Strange offered politely, reigning on his enthusiasm, "provided that you show your Seidr. It's casting is absolutely astonishing, how long until your storage is sufficient?"

Loki curled his hand and inspected his nails arrogantly, "The surrounding area has provided an ample supply to draw from."

"Can you draw directly from a casted source?" Strange asked eagerly, already twisting his hands, "Here-"

Loki froze completely, eyes wide as the air above the table lit with orange and golden embers and sparks, bisecting and arcing into an elaborate spinning display neither Peter or Tony could understand.

The fire singed the air, casting orange across Loki's snow pale skin. With a trembling hand (nobody called him out on it), Loki reached out to graze his hand across the nearest stretch of fire. He visibly shuddered, before the spark began to stutter and fade away like escaping fireflies.

In seconds the room was as empty as it was before, except Loki looked overwhelmed and shocked-

"Is he blushing?" Tony whispered to Peter, who nudged the man sharply. Thankfully the other two didn't hear.

Loki twisted his hands, instead of casting lines and geometric shapes, green light warped in the air like Aurora Borealis. It shimmered and danced, condensing with smooth edges like ink in water, or smoke in the air. It took the form of a running horse, arching upwards to shift into a rearing two legged serpent _thing-_

"Is that a Bilgesnipe?" Tony whispered eagerly to Peter, smacking his side repeatedly, "I think it is! It's a Bilgesnipe!"

"I don't know what that is!" Peter hissed back quietly.

It dispersed, shimmering away in the air until once again, none could tell what had been happening just earlier.

"I'll help you," Loki breathed, not looking so far at Tony or Peter, "Doctor, have you learned the art of Transdimensional Travel?"

"Portals through sections of this reality was the first thing I learned," Strange tilted his head, "Why?"

"Perhaps teaching one the backpaths between realities and worlds could be beneficiary," Loki casually spoke, "Between the roots of Yggdrasil and under the eyes of those searching."

"Actually, if it's not so much of your time," Strange confessed, "I've been experiencing the strangest difficulty with transmutation-"

Peter didn't think Loki was aware of the sudden smile that crossed his face. The god looked much better without the expression of casual indifference or rage.

Tony stood suddenly, stretching obnoxiously, "Well! Good work team! If you don't mind Peter and I should be getting back, Avengers to annoy, things to invent." Tony drawled, grabbing Peter and dragging him out of the room against his protests.

Loki blinked, having essentially forgotten about the others in the room with them.

"Have they forgotten that they are far from home?" Loki inquired.

Strange rolled his eyes jokingly, "Give them until they go outside to realize it."

* * *

 **As a small joke to my friend who enjoys this story very much as I write it, I decided to create the tiny headcannon that pointedly performing magic in front of another is taken as courtship or a very very high level of flattery to another.**


	5. Chapter 5

**This is the last chapter, created mostly to tie up some loose ends.**

 **I hope you all have enjoyed the strange ride that this story was. Please leave a comment at the bottom if you have a suggestion- I'll be considering making a 'sequel' or a spin-off chapter/story based on this one.**

* * *

"Peter!" Aunt May shouted, peering around the corner hoping to catch a glance of the elusive teen.

"Yeah?" Peter asked, spinning and managing to clip his foot on the nearest door frame. He hissed under his breath, jumping up and down as he held his throbbing toes, "Yeah, Aunt May?"

She walked around the corner, carefully drying an antique plate with a bright blue dishtowel, "What are you hopping around for?" She scolded playfully.

"Oh, just felt like it," Peter shrugged, continuing to hop even after the pain faded, "All those carrots of dinner must have activated my inner rabbit. Burr- wait what noise does a rabbit make. Do they squeak or do they hum or do they purr?"

Aunt May shook her head, "I'm not sure, I've never had a rabbit."

"Want one?" Peter asked genuinely curious, "I mean, we have the space now."

Which was true.

After returning through a magical portal, life went back to normal for a few days. Peter almost entirely forgot that now he was in the Avengers' good books, until Iron Man had swept in during Peter's attempts to stop a car chase in the New York tunnel (that had been an exhilarating rush) and arrested the man in a fraction of the time Peter took.

It was killing his vibes, so did Iron Man's angry shouting and pacing (which was creating some mighty structural damage to the already broken road).

Apparently he didn't like where Peter and Aunt May had been living- which was creepy since Peter was almost certain he shouldn't be _that_ familiar with his old house.

Peter then was forced into a strange job position that didn't actually have a title, and delivered him a paycheck with so many zeros he had to check with Pepper Potts, the scary Stark Industries CEO to make sure it wasn't a typo.

It wasn't. Neither was the next one, or the following two. Or the flyer for a beautiful house that slid under his front door shortly after, well within the price range and affordable now with Peter's paycheck.

Aunt May had flustered over it at first, refusing his money until Peter confessed most of his job was simply nodding when Tony had a stroke of genius, or getting _Bruce Banner_ cups of tea when he asked for it.

The new house was beautiful, set on a surprisingly modest neighborhood in Queens a short distance away from the main highway that would take him onto Long Island. The bus system isn't relevant since Tony had gone out of his way to send his own personal driver out to fetch Peter every single day- when he hadn't crashed on the comfortable couches in Tony's lab.

Peter was fully intending to rent an apartment soon, of course most of his paycheck would go to Aunt May.

It was also nearly public knowledge to the Avengers (although a secret to SHIELD, something he was eternally thankful for) that Stark's new lab assistant was Spiderman. Either from the same speaking patter, rapier wit, or the fact that once Clint startled him and Peter ended up crouched on the ceiling staring at the baffled archer.

Along with the paycheck, the access to ridiculous technology, and the opportunity to _learn_ awesome ninja moves from _Black Widow,_ Peter was rather happy with how his life had turned out.

Back to the matter at hand, Peter wisely spoke, "I can almost _certainly_ hook you up with a rabbit, Aunt May."

His aunt laughed, rearranging the plate in her hand to swat him with her dishtowel.

"Hey hey!" Peter laughed, dancing out of the way, "Careful there! That's a weapon!"

"The only enemy I have is your leftover Spaghetti on you plate." She teased, "Which _you_ are washing."

"Yeah yeah, I'm on it," Peter smiled, sliding past her into the well-furnished kitchen.

Peter could tell that they were well off when he didn't have to wash his hands with Ajax and could now lather up with fancy French Vanilla.

* * *

Spiderman had fought alongside the Avengers before- well, since the magic incident. His reflector panel suit he had used to hunt down Loki was invaluable on stakeouts and for trapping targets.

Black Widow (or 'Mama Spider' as Clint called her) was amazing as a mentor, her flexibility rivaled his own although she was lacking in the super strength and senses department.

Although he had teamed up with everyone on the team at some point (he and Clint liked to try and hit targets across the freeway), they hadn't ever been called out to face one gigantic threat since the Chitauri alien invasion.

Until now.

"Take this-" Natasha muttered, passing him something small and black while she walked quickly to the 'weapons bunker' on the upper levels of the Avenger Tower, "Change it to frequency four for the main line."

Peter nodded eagerly, "Okay, got it-" It whistled uncomfortably in his super hearing, "Which suit?"

"Red," Natasha responded instantly, "We'll want to see you. Thor has already left- remember not to be swinging when he's conjuring lightning."

Oh _that_ had been a blast. Literally.

Natasha opened the password protected wall, pulling out her own cat suit, the one built with special markers for easy identification.

Peter averted his eyes and grabbed his own suit, stored right next to Natasha's since he normally partnered with her anyways.

"Zip?" Natasha spoke, not even glancing behind to see if Peter would help. He had been a fumbling mess the first time, Natasha was a drop dead _gorgeous_ woman, it had taken him until she had dislocated his shoulder to snap out of his fanboy trance.

He zipped up the back zipper without hesitation, reaching out to grab the sensor belt that he quickly wrapped around his waist.

"Ready?" Natasha asked, flexing her wrists to make sure her own Widow Bites were working properly. Those wrist tasers _hurt,_ Peter didn't envy the enemy.

"Yep! Completely ready," Peter nodded, pulling his cowl over his face and tapping his communications device through the fabric, "All ready like jelly."

 _"That's a wonderful phrase,"_ Clint grunted, breathing coming uneven _"I'm going to use that from now on."_

 _"I prefer jam, because I'm always rocking it,"_ Tony instantly shot back, his voice much clearer than anyone else's due to the helmet, _"So, who sent this robots? Because they're more gaudy than that one tower-"_

"Stark," Natasha spoke with a sigh, "Leave politics out of this."

Steve sighed over the coms, causing Peter to snicker.

As Tony said, the robots were gaudy. They were large hunks of metal, towering over seven feet tall with exposed coils of wire connecting their torso to the legs. Its head resembled an insect with compound eyes, focusing on any moving target to attack.

Thor and Tony worked in the sky, tackling huge robots out from where they hovered between buildings on a rampage. Steve and Natasha tackled the streets, trying to direct the attention away from the terrified civilians.

Clint was on the Avenger Tower itself, the only building with the best vantage point to snipe out the connecting cables from the lower torso to the legs.

It all seemed fun at first, even Steve was smiling as he scraped off obnoxious olive paint and implanted his shield into a sparking head.

Thor smashed one robot to the ground, withdrawing his hammer from the battered metal.

But then it whirred twice, eyes flashing, and stood back up again.

"What?" Thor spoke, well he didn't _actually_ speak. He had a bad habit of frying communication devices and giving everyone else a migraine so Tony tended to have JARVIS translate his mouth on sight.

A robot the had its legs severed from its body whirred to live and started firing very real bullets upwards at Clint.

"Crap!" Clint gasped, rolling out of the way as every single destroyed robot awoke and started to function as if immortal.

 _"Cap, these things won't stay down!"_ Tony warned, snapping the arms off of one legless robot. It began rolling, firing bullets from its shoulders in a spinning robot of doom.

 _"They keep working,"_ Natasha grunted, taking cover and bleeding from a minor graze under a flipped car, _"This isn't possible."_

 _"Is the Hulk out?"_

 _"Taking robots to Hamilton on Broadway- yes he's out."_

 _"I just fired an explosive arrow in the chest of this thing. It's still getting up, guys."_

Peter fired a web near a streetlamp, looping down near the road to give a two legged kick into the back of one of the robots.

His feet went clear through the metal, impaling the robot on two spider legs.

Peter flipped off, landed in a crouch and watched in disbelief as it _stood up again._

"What is happening?" Peter complained, "That's not fair. This was supposed to be like, an epic Lord of the Rings battle."

 _"Well you got Legolas baffled too."_

 _"Shut up Tin Man and figure out how to kill these things."_

 _"Me? Why me! These things aren't abiding the laws of nature! Of science!"_

"Magic!" Peter gasped, unsettled at the realization, " _How_ is magic suddenly working with robots?"

 _"Look kid, this isn't the Hobbit-"_

 _"No! He's right!"_ Tony blurted, _"I'm coming out to you guys. I may have run off and eloped with a magician."_

 _"Stark, seriously this isn't the time for jokes-"_

 _"Go my little Jumping Spider!"_ Tony cooed, _"Find the man of my dreams-"_

That was as clear of a signal as anything.

"I'll be right back, guys. I know who can help!" Peter gasped for air, trying to orientate himself in the busted streets and the zombie robots.

 _"What? No, Spiderman regroup and join with Widow-"_

"Sorry Cap, can't tell me what to do." Peter argued, starting to run down the road to get a good start of a swing, "I'm just a rebellious teenager in a free country."

 _"You heard him,"_ Clint sighed, pausing before muttering nearly unheard, _"'Murica."_

Peter shot a web, jolting upwards and beginning to swing his way through the city towards the one nondescript building others couldn't see.

* * *

"Strange!" Peter shouted, knocking open the wooden door and skidding for a few seconds on the polished floor, "Strange! I need your help!"

Peter's voice echoed strangely through the large building, although in only seconds the man appeared looking annoyed at first but then surprised and slightly friendly.

"Peter," Strange nodded, "You caught me at a good time. Do what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Oh thank god I didn't interrupt your beauty sleep," Peter panted giving a winded grin, "You really don't own a TV, do you?"

Strange paused, "The city is under attack, isn't it?"

"Yep," Peter nodded, "By robots that just get back up and keep attacking. It sucks, I shishkabob's one and it just looked at me like I keyed its face."

"Considering a barely legal boy managed to do that, I'm sure that was more offensive than being keyed," Strange started, lifting his hand to his mouth to whistle shrilly, "What street?"

"That easy?" Peter grinned, "Don't you have magical potions brewing?"

"I have a Keurig," Strange grimaced, rolling his shoulders as the cape came flying through the halls and jumped around his shoulders, "I can microwave that later."

"Sweet," Peter raised a fist in a silent fist bump, "Great, right outside Trump Tower I think the group is."

Strange hesitated, "I don't suppose they've managed to-"

"Nope, it still stands."

Strange grimaced, "Damn, I was getting hopeful."

* * *

Traveling through the portal was just as disorienting as the first time. To make it slightly better, Strange made a portal appear right in front of Thor who blinked lazily and gave a toothy grin, "Sorcerer!" He cheered, brandishing his hammer in relief, "I wondered where your Midgardian mages hid."

"You must be Thor," Doctor Strange noted, eying the hammer with an unreadable expression, "I've heard of your exploits quite detailed."

"Ah, such wondrous stories," Thor looked off dreamily, lifting his hammer to smash into a robot without even looking, "We must share more after this battle!"

Strange gave a pinched smile as he turned to observe the destruction, frowning as he saw the dilemma instantly.

 _"Hey! Is that Gandalf?"_ Tony asked, rocketing across the air above them, _"It is! Spiderbro say hi to Gandalf for me!"_

"Tony says hi," Peter echoed, waving as Clint peered over a roof in confusion, "We're by Trump Tower with Thor."

 _"Oh I get it, draw all the damage to that hulking construction of pure-"_

 _"Tony, we aren't trying to take down the building."_

 _"Pity, I think this city can survive only with one Arrogant Billionaire,"_ Natasha dryly added, nonetheless her form was faintly visible a block down rushing towards them.

Steve leapt out of a window three stories above them, landing with a roll off of a car in a shower of glass. Steve panted, standing tall on the car's bumper as he surveyed the destruction.

"Hi Cap!" Peter smiled, deactivating the device in his ear as he waved, "Meet my fairy godmother."

Strange sighed, "Trouble follows you _everywhere,_ Peter. I would have been dragged back into this mess even _without_ you fetching me."

Thor laughed, a low rumbling noise.

Tony landed with a high pitched whistle, crunching another broken car even further into a pancake.

"Strange!" Tony cheered, lifting his faceplate to show his excitement, "Strange-y Baby! Awesome Facial Hair Bro! Where have you been! How's life and that terrible tea been treating you?"

"I got a Keurig," Strange admitted, Tony nodded firmly as if he had been told something enlightening.

"I'm sorry-" Steve gestured with his shield, "Who's this guy?"

Natasha finally made her way to the area, panting and looking suitably exhausted. She just waved, looking at Steve to explain,

"I'm Doctor Strange," Stephen explained with an aristocratic cold glance, "One of this realm's practicers of the Mystic Arts."

"I'm sorry, did you just grab a street magician?" Natasha sighed, firing her gun at another crawling robot.

Strange sighed, looking at a mechanical robot curiously. His cape fluttered, reaching out to brush Peter's arm, then it stretched out towards Thor's long red velvet cape almost longingly.

"Oh my," Tony gasped, "How could you, I thought we had something _special."_

Steve sighed, about to reprimand Tony for annoying an innocent pedestrian until Strange's cape actually lifted up and crossed its tassels like crossing its arms.

"Did that-" Steve gasped, looking at Natasha who took it in grace.

"You were flirting with a cape?" Natasha pinched the bridge of her nose, "Fine, fine, just...carry on."

"Certainly," Strange noted, crossing his shaking hands and snapping outwards to send something orange and burning at a nearby robot.

It glowed purple, something like an energy shield brushing across its metallic surface.

"It's warded," Strange blinked in surprise, "Not the Eldritch magic either-"

"What? What kind is it?" Peter asked excitedly, causing Strange to try another magical movement.

Tony, Peter, and Strange all ignored Steve and Natasha who resembled a fish more than anything.

"It's-" Strange hissed as his orange geometric shapes fizzled angrily, "It's Asgardian magic, but it's constructed and casted like Eldritch-"

"So it's human?" Tony blurted, "We're fighting a human who got too big for his britches?"

"Yes, more eloquently put, you're searching for a sorcerer who can cast Asgardian magic, or has access to lore." Strange grunted and stumbled back as once again his spells were rejected, "I can't counter the warding."

"Most troublesome news," Thor rumbled, hoisting his hammer, "Mjolnir has no effect either, mage."

"Fascinating," Strange deadpanned, "Because your hammer is a _perfect_ example of actual _magic._ Please step back and allow me to work."

Thor blinked, looking as hurt as a scolded puppy.

"Captain," Natasha warned, climbing for a vantage point to survey the area, "They're gaining."

They were, they hunched and crawled closer and closer and although the majority were without ammunition, they were all well equipped with sharp claws and burning metal.

"Let me try-" Strange mumbled, twisting to form something vaguely like the Arc Reactor in the air. It became more and more complex, branching out further and further until it looked like the heart of a nebula, still growing and emitting more and more heat. The nearest robots started to sizzle, the metal melting within a foot of the magic.

Peter's Spidey senses tingled, allowing him to push Strange to the side just for the bullet aiming at his throat to puncture his shoulder.

The magic faltered, exploding outward in one hot blast which seared the robots and damaged the integrity of a certain nearby building- which Peter _totally_ wasn't happy about, not even a little.

"Strange!" Tony jolted into business, sending a small bomb out of a shoulder launcher to push back the mob, "You okay?"

The cape was fretting, twisting forward and bunching around the bullet wound where Strange grasped the material in shock.

"I-" Strange winced and gasped, "I got _shot."_

"Happens to all of us, buddy." Natasha grunted, firing into the mass and sliding down the car to avoid being shot in return.

"Get back!" Peter shouted, sending out his webs to try and slow the advancement behind the webbing barricade.

"I-" Strange hadn't been in combat often, he was quickly becoming overwhelmed by the red seeping through his cloak, "what-"

To the befuddlement of everyone, a faint greenish glow cracked over Strange's skin. A membrane or a soap bubble snapping with an echoing crack.

"What was that?" Tony blinked, 'What was _that?"_

"A ward," Strange spoke dazed, face blinking in confusion and minor relief, "I- I didn't cast it."

Thor tightened his grip on his hammer and braced himself for the robotic swarm. Somewhere in the distance the Hulk roared.

The web was beginning to snap under the combined stress of the robots, small lines tore and popped apart-

A searing _rush,_ and every window on the street exploded outwards with a shower of sparkling glass. It cracked loudly like a thousand rolls of bubble wrap exploding in rapid fire.

"Get down!" Peter shouted, dragging down Strange who was still scrabbling against the blood oozing out of his shoulder, "Stay here, okay? Just, stay down or get back to your towe-"

"You're hurt."

The voice was painfully familiar and quiet with a sense of shock and sadness.

Despite the chaos still unfolding, the group stilled and the words echoed in the relative silence.

Natasha gasped, staring from behind Steve's shield where she hid from the glass. Thor rose slowly, eyes wide in disbelief.

Loki tilted his head, staring unnervingly at Strange with an unusual expression, "These abominations have harmed you?"

Thor opened his mouth about to speak- Peter aimed and absentmindedly webbed the Asgardians mouth shut.

"Did you ward me?" Strange choked out an amused laugh, "Is it time to confess I warded you too?"

"I know," Loki blinked, "I don't mind."

Tony floundered at the strange exchange, unsure on what to do.

Peter's spider sense went off just in time for him to web down an incoming arrow, deadly pointed aimed at Loki.

Loki didn't seem to notice, or ignored it like how he was ignoring Thor so pointedly.

"Who is the caster?" Loki asked, looking at the robots in disgust, "It's child's spelled."

"But Seidr," Strange pointed out, chuckling before groaning slightly, "I can't break it."

Loki stepped towards Strange, kneeling down carefully and once again ignored Natasha's shaky gun pointed at his skull. Loki's pale fingers twisted, and Strange gasped a strange gurgle, smacking his head back against the car he leant against.

"I'll track down the mage and bring him his head," Loki spoke lightly, honestly sounding like an _offer,_ "I dare think of what state his vessel be."

"No no," Strange objected, massaging his now healed shoulder, "No killing sorcerers or bringing me their heads. We talked about this."

"I thought that was only referring to Amora?" Loki genuinely looked _confused,_ "It applies to all?"

" _Yes,_ Loki." Strange chuckled.

"You care naught for tokens of-"

"We'll talk about this later." Strange interrupted smoothly, having the audacity to reach out and actually _pat_ Loki's left shoulder.

Loki nodded slightly, pausing against the touch before his eyes slid to observe the hoard. He straightened, rolling his shoulders sharply as his expression twisted into something more wild and feral.

He hissed something obviously not English, slashing his arm viciously through the air as if his nails were lethal claws.

A rippling green wave of _something_ blasted through the street absolutely _vaporizing_ all of the metallic robots.

As soon as the last robot vanished, Loki glanced at Strange with something very similar to _fondness_ \- and vanished into green mist.

Tony paused, looked at Strange who seemed just as overwhelmed as Steve was, and bluntly stated, "Your boyfriend is scary."

Peter wasn't exactly how everything had led up to that moment, but Peter realized he was very, _very_ happy with his life.

* * *

 **I hope you all have enjoyed this strange story, I certainly didn't know it would end like this when I first started writing it.**

 **Like I mentioned at the top, I may entertain the idea of a sequel or a spin-off story based on this one. I think there is a lot of potential especially with how awkward Loki is now.**

 **Comment please and let me know your genuine thoughts or opinions.**


	6. Epilogue

**Here is the Epilogue, written because I wanted to tie up a few ends and Loki is an adorable awkward ball of free magic.**

 **I hope you all enjoy this story and the terrible jokes and one liners.**

 **Hope to see your usernames from the reviews on my next story!**

* * *

Doctor Strange knew that something was terribly wrong when the doorbell went off.

His main argument for why it was instantly a bad sign, was that he hadn't even _needed_ a doorbell until the New York magic fiasco that had happened the earlier month.

Since that, Doctor Strange's peaceful home had been the focus of mutated rhinoceros', walking fire spewing sunflowers, and smart mouthed humanoid creatures which sneezed hydrochloric acid.

Generally, it was Iron Man who intruded, knocking his door nearly off its hinges with the ferocity of his knock. Other times it was Peter, who while gentle with his door, left _footprints,_ on the _ceiling._

Since then, Doctor Strange had constructed various wards around the perimeter and the windows of the building. He knew the moment either of the two stepped foot over the property line- and generally made his way to the front foyer where they were decidedly 'freaked out that his mojo-jojo juices could track them'.

He then installed a doorbell, which while sent a politer gesture, had been abused hurriedly by being pressed a dozen times on repeat.

Strange's eyebrow twitched and he stood slowly. He placed the cutlery back on his plate, glancing forlornly at his dinner.

He stepped away from the table, stalking across the wood floors with a growing sense of agitation.

" _What,"_ He shouted, descending the stairs to the front door rapidly, "do you want-" he flung open the front door dramatically, " _now?"_

Steve shuffled uncomfortably, holding a green plastic wrapped object anxiously.

That was new, mostly considering that Steve Rogers had no idea where he lived, not to mention he hadn't had a decent conversation with the man.

"Stephie!" Tony shouted excitedly, throwing his arms out in front of him as he stepped away from the doorbell, "I brought friends!"

"I can see that," Strange dryly remarked, observing the awkward jumble of superheroes in various arrays of disguises.

Bruce Banner's outfit was by far Strange's favourite, the purple hoodie and the bright orange ball cap clashed so horribly he wondered how many pedestrians turned to look at them.

"I'm sorry, Mr.-" Steve fumbled, remembering last second the man's preference, " _Doctor,_ Doctor Strange. We couldn't stop him and he insisted-"

"Good thing too," Tony interjected, jerking a thumb over his shoulder where Clint was watching the oblivious pedestrians pass the cluster obliviously, "That birdbrain was itching to meet you after that last stunt-"

"He turned Clint's arrow into gasoline," Bruce muttered under his breath, "That's not even physically _possible."_

Strange observed the group, taking a moment to meet Thor's bright blue eyes, currently molded into the sappiest hopeful expression he had ever seen. He wore a hunting hat, complete with flaps over the ears, despite the warm weather.

"Fine," Strange ground out sourly, "You interrupted my dinner-"

"No worries!" Tony grinned, "Peter is bringing pizza!"

Strange briefly mourned the loss of his leftover Italian, and opened the door wider for the group to shuffle through.

The famous Black Widow was the one that Strange hadn't ever actually met. Everyone else he had fought alongside or personally assisted at one point or another. Her eyes were deceptively sharp, scrutinizing everything in his entry hall from his mahogany railings to the still dented tile on the ground.

"Err, nice place you have here," Steve awkwardly complemented, looking like he would scratch his head if it wasn't for the veiled basket he was holding, "Very, uh, homey."

"Nice ceiling," Clint added, jamming his hands in his jean pocket, "Didn't get all the footprints off."

Strange mentally cursed, and audibly sighed.

"I assume," He pointedly looked at Tony, "That you recall the way to the sitting room?"

Tony lifted his arm in a mockery of a salute before he danced off, instructing the group to look around at the oddities in the building like he was an underpaid tour guide.

Strange sighed through his nose as he lumbered back to the kitchen, glancing at his reheated pasta sadly before placing it back in the fridge.

Hopefully, Peter's taste in pizza extended further than his taste in clothing

* * *

Strange quickly stole his favourite chair from Bruce, who had stammered out apologies with a nervous flush and retreated across the room to a wicker rocking chair. His discomfort was strikingly similar to a skittish animal.

Strange dismissively shrugged him aside, turning once he heard the only female Avenger address him.

"Doctor," She nodded professionally, "You have a wonderful house."

Strange smiled slightly, there was nothing kind behind the expression, instead only wistfulness. "It's unusual," He summarized, "I barely understand half of the object in here that seem dangerous, and the other half are novelty jokes that have gone too far."

"Is that why you have a snow globe on the mantel?" Clint asked curiously, "What is it, a mini blizzard?"

"Of course not," Strange scoffed, "It's a portal."

Tony blinked, "Yeah Clint, don't be daft. He's like Santa."

Bruce spun and looked at Tony with a befuddled expression, "Tony, I'm not sure if you realize it but the Doctor does not have white hair."

"I will once I'm done with all of you," Strange muttered under his breath, wishing he still had his reserve of Elven ale.

"No!" Tony whined, "You know, like that kid movie, with Santa and the Easter Bunny-"

"This is just in!" A new voice announced dramatically, "Iron Man _secretly_ loves children's movies."

Bruce smiled and looked up as Peter walked in the room, wearing the Spider-Man outfit in exception to the mask. He balanced six boxes of pizza in his arms, a smaller box at the top was teasing Doctor Strange with the promise of breadsticks.

"Honey," Tony drawled with a terrible southern accent, "I should _star_ in a kid's movie."

Steve looked at Thor with a baffled yet fond expression, Thor somehow mirrored it back.

"Peter," Strange smiled, looking at the younger teen with a fond smile, "How have you been?"

"Much better since you got that ear off my shoulder!" Peter chimed back happily, "Mutant Rhinos are _not_ my friends."

"Mutant radiation," Clint shrugged with a small smile, "surprised it got you and not Hulk."

Bruce visibly shivered, "Imagine the Other Guy with an extra _arm."_

The room collectively shivered.

"Anyways!" Peter chimed happily, "I got you that vegetarian pizza, and I pulled a few favors and got that _amazing_ cheesy bread that they took off the menu- turns out people _really_ like Spider-man. Who knew?"

"Now that you're with the Avengers publically," Strange agreed, "Your publicity has become favorable."

Natasha smiled quickly, a legitimately happy smile flickered off her face for a split second, "that's wonderful."

"Aww," Clint teased, "mama spider happy for her lil arachnakid?"

Natasha sighed, looking at Clint with her best deadpan expression- something still teasing.

"I still must wonder," Thor began, looking at Strange curiously, "I have been informed, that Midgardian Mages are rare-"

"They are," Strange started, leaning forward to brace his forearms on his knees, "There are few of us across the globe. You Avengers defend the Earth from physical threats, we work to defend the Earth from mystical threats."

Thor nodded slightly, still looking interested, "You deal with Yggdrasil?"

Strange paused, "I have seen it, gazed upon its branches."

"It exists?" Bruce asked excitedly, eyes alighting with curiosity, "It actually exists?"

"It is named alternately in our language," Strange explained with a pause, "The connection of gravitational fields and shape of our cosmic web form the rough shape of the Life Tree-"

"You aren't kidding?" Clint asked curiously, "Well I'll be damned. The hippies were right."

"Hippies," Natasha smiled slightly, eyes gazing off as she quietly muttered to herself, "All they do is smoke pot and smell bad."

"Can I introduce you to Jane?" Tony asked excitedly, pausing to point at Thor, "Assuming Shakespeare over here is cool with it, and you don't go all Macbeth on her-"

"Stark," Strange sighed, "Have you ever actually _read_ Shakespeare?"

"I Sparknote'ed," Tony defended, glancing at Peter for help, "that website is still accurate, right?"

"Nah," Peter shook his head, "Shmoop is where it's at now."

"Shmoop?" Bruce asked curiously, "What ever happened to Wikipedia?"

"Someone broke in and changed all the info in there," Clint added with a grin, "they altered the Avenger stuff the other week. Remember? They said that Thor had extensions-"

"In Thor's defense," Tony paused, "His hair is out of this world."

" _No,"_ Clint bemoaned at the pun, "Stop please-"

"I think it's more L'Oréal." Natasha offered with a blank face which somehow added to its comedic value.

"Maybe it's Maybelline." Steve intruded, speaking with just enough emphasis to make it seem like some sort of great wisdom.

"You made a joke!" Tony pointed, crowing in victory, "And it made _sense!"_

"Good job, Pops." Peter nodded with a smile, "We're all very proud of you."

"What about you?" Natasha directed the conversation to Strange, who had a rather pronounced and artfully done facial hair, "Do you use the blood of a werewolf for your beard?"

"No." Strange pointedly looked at her, "I have magical scissors."

Bruce paused, "Was that…. a joke?"

"That's his secret," Peter's lip twitched as he tried to resist chuckling, "He's _always_ joking."

"How did you find that quote." Clint stumbled, "No, seriously, Terminator over there looked through all the recordings on the web and that quote was _never_ recorded. _How."_

"A spider never reveals his secrets." Peter didn't blink.

Natasha gave him a subtle high-five.

* * *

Despite Steve and Thor having abnormal levels of strength, they were surprisingly gentle when placing the porcelain plates on the long dining table.

They each had the focus of a man playing jenga, setting down the dinnerware with precise movements, wincing at the slightest click.

Natasha and Clint moved similarly, except not at all. They both walked slightly faster than normal walking speed, placing cutlery in the exact location and tossing spare knives across to one another. Strange's knives weren't sharp, they were honestly rather dull, but the carelessness still made his breath hitch.

Bruce was trying his best, brewing tea with the exotic tea leaves he quite honestly, almost swooned over once seeing in the pantry.

Tony and Peter were absolutely useless, instead choosing to bicker over the atrocities or the miracle of pineapple on pizza. The entire scene was strangely domestic, Strange almost felt the urge to invite Christine over to take part. He had a feeling she and Bruce would get along splendidly.

"Alright," Strange started, drawing attention although not limiting the steady setting of the dining table, "I would like to ask you all to _not_ draw weaponry while in my residence."

Peter paused and looked at Strange curiously, "Sure thing, Doc. This place is a peace zone."

Thor nodded sagely, grinning toothily in agreement, "Aye! In Asgard, the Halls of Healings and the Great Feasts were peace and refuge to all."

Natasha paused, holding a knife considering before she placed it on the table, "Alright. If you can handle it, we can even have dinner with Hydra."

Steve gave an obvious shiver, "Please, let's not."

"Fine by me," Clint agreed, "I didn't bring my bow anyways."

Eyes slid to Peter, who technically was the only one armed at the moment.

"What," he defended, crossing his arms pointedly, "I'm the only one that keeps Strange and Tony in check. Facial hair is a wonderful motivator."

The two men shivered in que.

"Point taken." Bruce smiled, looking back at his mugs of exotic Indian tea.

They stumbled into the chairs, drawing them across the wooden floor with loud scraping noises. Bruce placed the mismatched mugs on the table, interchanging them with glasses of water.

Thor peered sadly at his own tea, housed in a decorative _I love Shamu!_ Mug, the handle was in a chipped whale tail.

Strange looked at the sad sight, and with a small sense of resignation he twisted his hand and transmuted the tea into ale. Not quite the quality of Alfheim or even of the Vanir, but he felt the Asgardian would appreciate it.

"I thank you," He formally stated, clasping one hand over his chest in a sign of sincerity, and casual respect.

Strange wasn't quite sure what to feel at the sight.

"No fair," Tony whined sourly, pulling at his piece of pizza savagely, "Why does _he_ get beer instead of tea?"

"I'll change yours into tomato juice if you keep complaining," Strange folded his pizza in half, picking it up to bite at the double layer of crust.

"Oh my god," Clint's jaw dropped at the sight, "He's a _monster."_

Bruce snorted playfully, then picked up his own fork and knife to cut his pizza slice into small squares, "Oh I know."

Steve winced at the sight, pulling at his own pizza and eating it with the pride of a Brooklyn boy, which meant a large glob of greasy cheese fell onto his lap.

Thor laughed loudly, his chest trembles shaking the table. His face stubble was an unusual mixture of red pizza sauce and beer foam.

Natasha tried her best but ultimately succumbed to the impossible task of avoiding pizza sauce on her face.

"You're eating black olives?" Peter grimaced, "Those things are black pits of merciless hell."

"It reflects my heart," She deadpanned once again, "You're eating anchovies."

Peter looked at his pizza with an embarrassed sigh, "Am I going to get a spider joke if I say I like how they crunch in my teeth?"

"You suck the life out of everything good, Peter." Clint tisked, "Ensnaring all that is fun-"

"You know," Peter blinked, "You could have just gone for the easy joke, like-"

"Like what?" Clint scowled, an amused glint assuring Peter that he was still joking, "Your words are really melting my insides."

Strange smiled, about to contribute himself, when he felt it.

One of his perimeter wards went off, sending him a small pulse of prior knowledge. Someone had breached his antique and trophy room and was-

"Oh no," Strange mumbled, standing abruptly and extended one hand over the table, fingers splayed, "This is a _peace_ zone." He reminded sternly.

Then the doors to the dining room swung open with the absurd wail of a toad and an infant.

Thor immediately jumped to his feet- and was forced down as Strange smacked him magically back to his chair.

The weirdest animal Tony had ever seen ran into the room- coated from head to tail with small horns reminiscent of those poorly marketed corn chips in the shape of a horn.

Its face looked like a pug, except with a spikey unibrow. And it had two tongues, one of which was licking its eyes.

" _What-"_ Clint started, baffled but not risking standing up.

The creature sprinted across the ground on its stubby paws, similar to four toed horse hooves. Strange twisted his hands, trapping the creature in a geometric cage.

There was a moment of silence, broken by the strange animal's chuffing, before Strange sighed loudly.

"Alright," He called, voice elevated to carry out of the room, "If you wouldn't mind, what exactly is _that?"_

His voice wasn't angry, more exasperated with the careful touch of scolding.

A green mist wafted into existence behind Strange, manifesting and solidifying until a casual looking Norse God blinked eerily out over the room in evident confusion. Quickly his attention was brought to Doctor Strange, who turned and placed his _hands_ on his own _hips._

Clint stiffened and his fingers curled so tightly his knuckles bleached white.

"So domestic," Peter muttered under his breath, joking although serious enough to web anyone to the chair is necessary.

"It's a Horndracker." Loki spoke formally, his voice fluid and much more composed than the last time anyone had heard, "I was...unaware, that you had guests."

Loki blinked, eyes large and glimmering emerald, "In the Midgardian phrase, this is awkward."

Clint opened his mouth, about to send a biting retort, but then Strange gave an even more baffling sigh of exasperation- as if a corn chip shelled monster was a tri-weekly occurrence.

"As fascinating as this one is," Strange pointedly cut off, raising one eyebrow and crossing his arms, "Didn't we learn from the incident with the Yggrolv?"

Thor choked loudly on a piece of pizza, or perhaps it was in sheer disbelief. The man's eyes bulged in shock, jaw dropping in a mixture of pride and horror.

"What's a Yggrolv?" Natasha spoke lowly, her voice somehow conveying the color black in the tone.

"Large, many wings," Thor lifted his hands to his neck, folding them awkwardly as if flapping, " _very_ dangerous."

Loki actually looked _put out,_ he crossed his arms, cloaked in green and black leather armor. The gunmetal silver buckles clicked against golden clasps- strangely archaic except for the facial expression able to transcend time itself.

Loki was _pouting._

"I fail to see why you worry so."

Strange arched one eyebrow, lip twitching slightly, "You had it hog-tied and was going to remove its wings to make a mantel decoration."

Thor paled and choked again.

"It would have made an excellent trophy-" Loki argued, ducking his head slightly into the high collar of his armor.

"No no," Strange soothed, as if Loki was an angry cat, "I don't need any more trophies, and I don't need a baby Horn-" He paused, looking at the monster regretfully.

"Horndracker," Loki supplied grouchily.

"Horndracker," Strange smiled politely, "I don't need a baby Horndracker."

Steve very slowly met Tony's eyes. The super soldier had the expression in his eyes that clearly read _'We're third wheeling, aren't we?'_

Tony nodded enthusiastically.

"You reject my tokens-" Loki lifted his head, pointing his chin skywards haughtily like the drama queen everyone knew and loved.

"I reject this one, although not from the lack of thought. They're very nice- would you like to sit for dinner?"

"Sit and dine with _mortals-?"_ Loki hissed out, metaphorically bursting into flames.

"Tony brought an Edible Arrangement," Strange soothingly added, "Steve actually carried it in. They're very expensive and not very good so you would enjoy eating it."

" _No,_ I would _not-"_

"You like to order the most expensive thing on the menu and eat it."

Loki looked struck, "Cease your nonsensical ramblings-"

"Remember in Monaco?" Strange was trying not to smile, "You ate fish eyes."

Loki opened his mouth to protest once more, eyes glowing surreal on his pale complexion and glimmering armor.

"Eat the damn strawberry." Strange bossily stated, grasping the god's shoulders to orient him and shove him downwards into his own chair. With a circular movement of his wrist, Strange conjured a spinning orange circle of sparks- reaching through to pluck another chair from somewhere unknown. He dragged it to the table, rotating it to sit right next to the very unsure god.

Peter passed a chocolate coated strawberry on a stick politely, he only grinned when the god accepted it with a wrinkle of his nose.

"Bro-" Thor started, looking like he was going to cry.

Loki snapped and Thor floundered, suddenly unable to make a single sound.

"That would be useful for Tony," Peter offered, actually making conversation with the god, "Super useful."

Loki paused, incredibly uncomfortable with the death glare he was receiving from the archer, "It... has been well used on Thor in our youth."

Steve smiled politely, "I can only imagine."

Loki nibbled on the strawberry, cracking the chocolate shell with blindingly white teeth. He stared at the gaudy arrangement of pineapple and watermelon, grapes and cantaloupes arranged to make little flowers.

"I fail to see why you pathetic creatures enjoy such trivial commodities."

Thor's face flushed. Peter could tell that if the man wasn't on mute, he would have shouted a defense to the 'puny Midgardians.'

"Loki," Strange sighed with the familiarity of arguing the same point many times, "You brought me the Yggrov."

Loki blinked, flushed slightly and scowled, "That was different."

"You _just_ brought me a Horndracker."

Loki looked away childishly, "That still-"

"You were going to break into a zoo," Strange rubbed his face to disguise a smile, "To kidnap me a _tiger."_

Loki's fingers crumbled the wooden skewer nearly into paste, "You expressed fondness for the creature." He grumbled under his breath.

 _'Oh my god'_ Tony mouthed to everyone at the table.

Natasha paused, then sighed loudly. Very slowly she reached across the table, drawing a random box from the stack and offering it to the trickster.

"Pizza?" She offered in a deadpan, trying not to make eye contact.

Loki paused, then very hesitantly took a slice.

"It's a peace treaty." Strange offered, grabbing a scrap of pepperoni and throwing it at the Horndracker, "This is a safe place."

Loki fiddled with the slice, mumbling quietly, "the Horndracker is an herbivore."

Strange nearly fell out of his chair in his hurry to fetch the piece of greasy meat.

"So," Bruce cleared his throat, ignoring the way Loki flinched violently when he realized who had addressed him, "What do you do for a living now?"

Loki blinked, appearing nearly gob smacked, "I- I offer assistance to the court of Midgardian Sorcerers in aid for Seidr _H'jakleat."_

Strange straightened, popping back into sight, "It's a lengthy title, essentially he's a consultant."

"A consultant." Clint's face was carefully blank, revealing no emotion, "You're hiring a psychopath as a consultant."

"Actually," Strange sat, placing one arm on Loki's twitching shoulder, "We have something to tell you."

"You're pregnant?" Tony blurted teasingly, pausing and paling when Thor didn't look confused, which meant it was an actual possibility, "Wait- wait _how-"_

Loki snapped and Tony silently clutched his mouth in shock.

"By we," Peter interjected timidly, "He means that like, Tony and I-"

" _You?"_ Natasha blinked, looking marginally hurt and betrayed, "What do-"

"Guys," Peter raised his hands, swallowing nervously, "I think that Doctor should really-"

Doctor Strange nodded thankfully, observing the room cautiously, "I feel it may be time to inform you of Earth's next great threat."

"Who?" Steve asked, his voice hardening.

Loki smiled grimly, "His name, is Thanos."

* * *

 **Alright!**

 **I hope you have enjoyed this wonderful story filled with snark and sarcasm, and quite honestly, makes me laugh while reading over it.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed a little more of the new ship, and if you don't you can interpret it as a bromance.**

 **Unfortunately, this is the end, as in, no more after this. (Unless you all really _really_ like this, in that case, who knows?)**

 **I look forward to hearing your reviews, and hearing how you all hung on to to this wild story.**

 **Let me know what your favourite quotes were!**

 **Until next time,**

 **~Oceanbreeze7**


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